6-02-04
6-15-04
6-29-04
Mailbag: Week of 6-29-04
Where do babies come from?
Who's the parent now, dog?

Babys come from disney land where they are hatched and bred to make their parents lose their hair that much quicker. By making them buy inane loud and worthless crap at a 100% markup

Children in general are loud bitchy needy whiney and annoying and need to be beaten whenever they say anything other than "Yes sir/ma'am/master"

If I see another 5 year old screaming in a restaurant for another Happy meal toy like a brat I am going to first off... beat the parents for being pussys and then taking a switch to the kid till he/she dies or my arm gets tired

In closing kids come from diney world... also known as Hell

-Rick


Even though babies don't come from Disney world, it's still Hell. Traffic is about as bad as it is in Atlanta during rush hour and you can't get anywhere near it if you're going somewhere else.

I feel ya on the parents being sissies issue. I have nice parents, but at least they diciplined me. No matter what they say, a good spanking and washing the kid's mouth out with soap DOES help. It worked on me...

-SV

I thought it was a stork...

Wal-Mart of course. Though I hear there's some lower quality babies for cheap at K-mart. Though if you're wondering how they get them at the stores, it's the Flying Pudding Cup. The Flying Pudding Cup makes babies out of dirt, clay, and cheap mousepads. He then sells them to Wal-Mart for ten bucks a pop. Coincedentaly, the Flying Pudding Cup is the second cousin of Cinderella's faerie-godmother, and an old classmate of Cosmo from Fairly-Odd Parants. In his spare time, the Flying Pudding Cup enjoys tennis, golf, and baking. He also works a postman.

-STAREYe


This Flying Pudding Cup guy sounds like some incarnate of God. Scary.:o
Will he be appearing on the Fairly Odd Parents show any time?
On a different note: I HATE YOU! (aka: My parents told me I was a blue light special at K-mart).

-SV

I'm still not fucking calling you strawkubby

Quoteth the Goku Kirby comic:

GokuKirby: So...why are you a Kirby? SonicKirby: Well...when a man-k and a woman-k love each other, the- GokuKirby: NOT what I meant.

I have to scan that. His comic rocks. Anyways. You may have heard about the story where the stork flies you in a big white bag, or you come out of the middle of nowhere floating in baskets with funny-shaped umbrellas. Or that a male and a female engage in a little thing where they [NOT-SO-VERY-INTERESTING STUFF HERE]and you're coming out your mom's arse in some hospital. But you know what? It's all lies. You actually grow out of the ground. Then, when you're ready, a fat farmer pulls you from the soil and puts you all into a big truck and ships you to "Babiez 4 U". Then, a guy dressed in white comes and slaps your butt...because he feels like it. Then, you're dumped into a radioactive waste, and pulled out as a developing bean. Then, your parents eat the bean, and it grows inside them. Then earth explodes, but warps back, so nobody reliezes it. Yup. I bet we just blew up a second ago. And just now. Anyways, your parents then goto a church, scream random profanities at Ronald McDonald, and then take a gernade lau! ncher and shoot a milktruck. Then lick all the milk from the ground, and while you're bending over, Ronald McDonald will come over and kick your mom in the butt, and you come right out her mouth!

Simple? I know it. Now...to explain where dogs come from...

-STARKIRBY


Wow, so much goes into the making of babies! And to think, when my mom had my little sister in February all she watched were all these lying shows that had women in hospitals having babies out the wrong hole. Maybe that's why they scream so much. :o*

*Ladies, I'm not that ignorant...please don't send me hate e-mails about my stupidity. Or egg my house. Or kill me. Etc.

-SV

Breadbasket!

Louisiana! Woo!

-UnbrokenTorment


Loosianer: Babie capital of the midwest/universe.

-SV

Prehistoric franchise?

Your face is a textarea. (babies come from Babies R Us)

-curlyfry


Where did babies come from before that, though? I should have asked that to STAREEYe, but I don't feel like going back and editing my response.

-SV

This week in review.

Damn, I actually meant to update this yesterday, but I was over at soap's and we were too busy playing FF:CC and Pokemon ruby/sapphire to care about the intarweb.

I guess no one really took to my random topic even though you had nearly two weeks to reply; only 5 replies. I guess I'll make a more serious topic for next week.

-SV

Mailbag: Week of 6-15-04
What's the coolest place you've ever visited?
You mean ol' grammer nazi

"You sick evil geniouses, you." -SV in response to GS's letter last time

What is wrong with this? YOU MISSPELLED GENIUS!!!!13%!@!@165273GAGHAH&!%@&!N00B6&#!$#!@

Okay, had to get that out. :P

The coolest place I've ever been to is oh wait VACATIONING AT OTHER PLACES SUCKS. Thus making my favorite place to go HOME SWEET HOME.

I was at Pensacola, Florida the day those shark attacks began that lasted the whole summer. Pretty crazy stuff. I even saw the ambulances and stuff. I was all "omgwtf nevermind i'll just go back to my game boy" and I did just that.

Speaking of cool places, another one is SV's house and I hope I can vacation there soon. *hint hint*

-Soap on a Rope


About the "geniouses" thing....it never happened (aka: it's been "corrected"). I remember you telling me about your adventures in Florida. I can definitely see you not caring and just going back to the good ol' GBA.

-SV

Home r where the heart is.

Bah! Why bother leaving the house when I can use a holosimulator to perfectly simulate a vacation in any area I desire? HAH!

-GSGold


Is this homosimulator portable, or is it a room? I'd like one of those. Free installation if not portable?

-SV

How much would you pay?

First of all, I've got to have this little rant. I've been to the Grand Canyon, and it is not the greatest place I've been to. I have relatives from South Dakota that come over sometimes, and they're always like, "This is so great! We're going to see the Grand Canyon!" And they'll always say all that crap about how it's "majestic" and "amazing" and "a once in a lifetime experience". Let me tell you; IT IS NOT. IT'S JUST A CANYON. The only thing special about it is the fact that it's so large, but even this is deceptive. Do not beleive the postcards, do not believe the movies. It's not all that big. There's actually a canyon about 2/3 the size a few miles from where I live. The Grand Canyon is overrated.

Well, sorry about that. The coolest place I've been, though, is a hotel. Yes, a hotel. A couple months ago, I took a school trip to Washington, D.C. for a week. D.C., like the Grand Canyon, is overrated. There were kids who were all like, "Wow, Abraham Lincoln was here once!" Big frickin whoop. The awesome part, though, was the hotel we stayed in. There were no halls in it; all the rooms had doors (and windows!) going off of a sort of common. At the center of this common was a swimming pool. Oh sweet Jesus yes. There was also a staircase leading up to the second floor, which had all the room entrances on a walkway, sort of like in an apartment complex. And we could do anything we wanted for a acouple hours after we got back from sightseeing; we could swim, play cards, go in the gift shop with the little old mexican woman behind the desk, or chill in our rooms. I tell you, man, this place was great! It was made even better by the fact that I was there with 20 of my classmates! . So if you're ever in D.C., take my advice: Forget the White House or Lincoln Memorial. Go to that hotel.

-Krem


I've been to the Grand Canyon...like you said, it really isn't that great. Now Muir Woods, that's a cool place. I like trees. :D

I love hotels, even if it is a Quality inn in North Carolina. XD It's fun to just chill in your room and talk with your teammates (oh yeah, I should tell you most of my trips out of state are baseball related). Plus the place we stayed in NC had moon pies. I was happy even though we lost both games. Sometimes the things you least expect to be fun can be.

-SV

Eh?

I've been to Florida four or five times. It was pretty cool. I got to make fun of people's accents and junk, and they treated me about like you guys do. :P It's especialy funny how they think this little tiny hills are big, because the whole freakin' place is flat. And they think 30 gegrees is cold. Disney World abd Bush Gardens were fun too, I've been to both of them once.

And boger flavoured jelly beans are the best. But popcorn freakin' sucks.

-stareyE


Florida is pretty flat and the water tastes bad too. : / Oh well, maybe one day I'll be down there when I'm not playing baseball and I'll get to go to one of hte theme parks and have fun. :)

It's funny when people come down to Georgia and talk about our accents like they didn't expect it. It's just sad when the people who have lived here their whole life still talk abou it like it's weird.

-SV

I'm not calling you StrawKubby

HAPPY FUN LAND!!! (AKA Staple's house)

Hm...I don't get to go to cool places. I went to a cool theme park, but rode some stupid rides, and when were about to go on some cool water rides, my sister threw up, and we had to leave!!!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnk.

-StarKirby


Uh...I'm sorry you don't consider any place you've been to be cool. It didn't have to be amazing, just cool to you. I like soap's house. It's fun to hang out there because I don't get to too often.

-SV

All the small things

When I try to think of the "coolest" place I've ever been my mind automatically starts to draw a blank. It's not that I've never been anywhere of interest, it's that I have a very difficult time deciding where I enjoyed the most. I'm always up for travel, and can't stand being in the same place for extended periods of time, as I tend to get "cabin fever" so to speak.

For someone so firmly against staying home it may come as a surprise to some of you that I've never left the country. However I have travelled a good deal within the United States, I've yet to venture outside of the boarders of this nation. At one point I was on a trip North to Western Canada but was stopped short by a car accident three quarters of the way there.

Well, one of my most noteworthy of trips was certainly my trip down to the drug store a few weeks ago. I walked almost half a mile, purchased a pack of gum and some chips, and braved the half a mile back to my own house. It's things like that day that really breathe life into my body and let me know that I'm alive.

Never again will I be oppressed by the confines of my own house. I plan on freeing myself from this cultural moot point created by over a decade of lethargic attitudes and pinned down aggression. Break the shackles of a desperate nation, and bring us all to peace.

Thank you.

-klo


A man of the small things in life? It's funny how a mundane place you visit every day can be better than an exotic place you visit only once. Looking back on previous entries, I noticed that I've made a few other ironic comments like the last one.

I've travelled across much of the country myself. Last summer my family and I drove out to California to visit my uncle. We stayed there a few days and then drove back home to Georgia. It wasn't any one place that was amazing, but it was the trip itself. Granted, I really like the petrified forest in Arizona, but during the trip I got to see how different the country in so many places and had a great time doing it.

It's the little things we do every day that keep us alive and sane, right? Might as well enjoy doing them.

-SV

This week in review.

ARRRRRRRRRRRG I should be drug out into the street and shot; I FORGOT TO UPDATE ON TIME AGAIN!! Oh well, you all still love me, so it's okay. I got some great replies this time, except maybe for wally and his "best friend" ass jackson. One of these days I'll acutally update on time. Just keep replying, otherwise there won't be an update. :(

PS: I'm making the tuesday after next the next update because I have baseball tournaments half of this week and half of next, both taking up the entire weekend.

-SV

Mailbag: Week of 6-2-04
What's the wackiest flavor you've ever tasted?
Yummy?

I remember eating this one flavor of ice cream at this Japanese resteraunt. It was bean flavored. Or somethting like that. Very odd.

Also, the ham suit was very funny, I agree.

-Carlos2


Note to self: Don't eat Japanese ice cream. So they have bean flavored ice cream, but I don't think I've ever eaten a bean flavored jelly bean....

-SV

urp...

I'd have to say ACTUAL soap like Lava soap... I cussed a bit when I was 5 and my mom made me take a bite of lava soap.... it tasted... like... um soap?

-Rick


Once my mom washed my mouth out with soap, but it was when I was like 5 and I called my sister a buttface. She is...I swear. >.>

-SV

Moo?

I had a grass flavored jelly bean once. I threw up..and stuff..yeah.

-Allthesmallthings


Of all the flavors...grass? You should've just gone out to your lawn and eaten a mouthful of grass. It probably would have been better for you. This makes you wonder, though: who eats these things to make the flavors for jelly beans?

-SV

STAREYoue

This one time, I made a sandwich, and I put chocolate syrup, jalopino cheese sauce, salsa, and mustarde on it. Then I asked my little sister if she thought I'd eat it. She didn't, which is surprising seeing as she's lived with me for 11 years. Dang that was one weird flavour. After one bite I gave the rest to the dog. It's probably still in her dish. :/

-stareyE


Why would you waste food in such a way? Maybe one day a goat will pay you a visit and finish your sandwich.

-SV

wow

There was the time I tasted this stuff they were using to cement my braces onto my teeth, and it was this really awesome sour flavor, and if I had the chance I would've swiped some. It was sour, but like you think "this shouldnt be in my mouth o shi" but it's really, really sour and good and better than you'd expect. Just don't swallow.

although I have to tell you, sv is a taste SENSATION. It's like he's the God of Flavor, sent from Heaven, Valhalla, and sometimes Mount Olympus to please YOUR taste buds. In fact, why not give him a good licking now? Go on, don't be shy, lick SV, anywhere you like. All his parts taste wonderful.

-Wally


I should ask my older sister about that braces stuff sometime; she use to have them. But about my flavor...I don't know if you want to lick me. I usually taste like sweat because I'm always outside playing baseball or working. If you like me salty...then go ahead.

-SV

Science has gone too far?

You fools! To think I resort to eating silly flavors! I eat my inexpensive vitamin liquids that are injected directly to my bloodstream! Haha! Go jump off a breedge!

-GSGoldSoft


You sick evil geniuses, you. Ya never know when to stop. Now look at what you've gone and done. I guess since we don't need to taste stuff anymore we don't...have...wait...it wasn't that important of a sense anyway. Oh well. Yay for needles!

-SV

Up for a movie?

I wonder what kind of drugs the whiz-kids at Jelly Belly are on. Have you seen some of the flavors of jelly bean they make? It's crazy, I tell ya.

The weirdest one is definitely the popcorn one. Who wants a popcorn-flavored jelly bean? Who comes up with this stuff? I can only imagine...

-Soap


Yup, jelly beans do have the oddest flavors. I think Allthesmallthings has got you beat though. At least yours is something you would normally eat. I'd hate to be the guy who creates the earwax flavored jelly bean. :o

You should take a bowl of those instead of buying popcorn at the theater; it saves, and it's perfect for you economically concious/cheap people!

-SV

ur mom

the wackiest flavor I've ever tasted is black licorice. that stuff is NASTY. ugh, I don't see how anyone can eat that junk, it tastes like vomit and rubber mixed together, it's disgusting. (your face is a mailbag)

-J-man


Yeah, curly, my face is a mailbag! I had a licorice flavored jelly bean once...I feel you on the makes-you-wanna-throw-up flavor. Anyway, I think I hear Captain SaveRite calling you, so I'll just let you go. Bye! *click*

-SV

This week in review.

I think I need to take soap up on the updating every week thing, though I did get a few on Friday...

I would have updated Saturday night, but some stuff came up blah blah blah, stuff you don't care about (like my excuses), and now I'm 4 days late. I can do weekly, but it'll start next weekend because I'll be away this weekend. Keep sending in to mailbag, AND I LOVE YOU ALL!....yeah, that one scared me too...

So, just keep replying! :D

-SV