Mailbag: Week of 8-02-04

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Burger Barf

Eat at Burger King, even though the thought of it makes me wanna barf.

Make a second shell for my car out of cardboard and duct tape.

Watch Barney.

-Nick

The Burger King...of awful food. It'd take more than ice cream to get me to eat there. Good luck on that venture!

Your second idea reminds me of the enterprise rental car commercials where the people drive around in cars covered in a big canvas or something with the company logo on the side.

As for the last one: What, Teletubbies too much for ya? Can't handle their sickeningly cute happiness and the annoyingly high pitched baby voices that make you want to rip your eyeballs out?

I guess that ice cream bar is really worth it to you!

-SV

Kill! Kill! Blood makes the grass grow!

I would stab someones eyes out with a rusty ice pick and then record their screaming because screaming is lovely

then I would hack off their arms and legs and then take out their heart as fast as possible before they bleed to death to eat it.

Then I would beat said persons family to death with that persons hacked off limbs and gargle their blood while singing row row row your boat.

And then after that I would skin the arms that I hacked off down to the bones and spear that persons dog/cat/hamster to the wall with said bones

Then I would wait till their grandparents visit and use their blood to fill a bathtub and bath in it.... then I would Wizz on all their corpses and eat the klondike bar that was rightfully mine in the first place even though they bought it

Bastards stealing my klondike bar. *eyetwitch*

-Rick

My condolences go to the family who bought the last box of Klondike bars. And we're keeping you away from the pills tonight. And the sharp objects. And people.

Care for a Klondike bar?

-SV

BEEF PEE

Damn ice cream and its lactose. >:(

-Soapy

They have medicine for this kind of stuff. Just don't let rick near it.

-SV

The Junk Heap: A dish best served with food on it.

"The Junk Heap is proof that one could easily reply to this topic."

Yes. It is. But The Junk Heap is not proof that one could reply to this topic well. I sat here for a good five minutes trying to think up something witty and clever when I could have just come up with some random bullshit (Eg, "I WOULD DO UR MOM LOLZ"). However, that would just be random bullshit. The point I'm trying to make is that The Junk Heap is too full of that. In my mind, The Junk Heap is a place where I can go to post poems about the Eorlingas, not a place to post "OMG I went to teh store and bought cheese Heheeeheeehee cheeseisfunny". So, yes... I'm angry that The Junk Heap contains random stupidity as opposed to intelligent randomness, as it should. Shape up, guys.

-Krem

Yeah, I must still be thinking of what the Junk Heap used to be, but it wasn't made for just intelligent stupidity. I'd personally like to see more of that, but it's open to anything one wants to get off their chest, which is usually what you call random bullshit. As you know, the rules are very lax there and you'll see more crap like that because that's what the board was made to contain and prevent from existing on other boards. All I can say is if you don't like it, don't go there.

So I guess you would change the Junk Heap for a Klondike bar? How about destroy stupidity (that'd be nice to see)? You really didn't give a direct answer.

-SV

Klondiron

What? What do you mean?! What's that? Some sort of weapon? Like a pipe?! THAT I CAN HIT PEOPLE WITH?! Yeeeeeeeeeees...give me one. NOW! What? Why not? I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING FOR IT?! Um...uh...IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME THAT I WILL KILL YOU!!!...haha, finally. I got my Klon-WHAT? An icecream bar?! I thought you said this was a weapon!? WHAT!? NO I DIDN'T!!! YOU LIAR!!! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!

...you didn't see that >.>

-StarKirby

I think there has been a misunderstanding.

-SV

This is normal for him. Seriously.

Why, I'd stuff a large rice crispy's square in my mouth, have a no-hands pudding eating constest and mistake the large amount of snot in my nose for pudding that made it way up there and snort it into my plate, then accidentaly sneeze on my friend Joel's lasagna, all in front of some twenty other people at the table. Fortunatly, I've already done all this today. And that's why summer camp is so much fun.

-stareyE

This is two entries in a row that I've found myself at a loss for words.

Here's your Klondike bar.

-SV

Someone get the bucket...

You think you're pretty damn clever, don't you? We both know this is a trick question. The real question is-- what wouldn't I do for a Klondike bar?

The answer?

Anything. The fucking things give me diahrrea.

Fucking Klondike.

-Tenda

'Tis a pity you hate them so. I love Klondike bars. I'd give you a bar to piss you off, but I already gave it to stareyE.

-SV

You never cease to be more technologically advanced than us.

Bah! I need no foolish "Klondike Bar"s! I simply have my hordes of machinery perfectly simulate eating one as a snack! Right down to having the weird chocolate stuff stick on your fingers!

-GSGold

You know, if I made a machine like that, I'd take out the chocolate residue thing. It's annoying. You think we'd try to make things better with amazing new technology, but NO!!

Stupid teenagers.

-SV

Who'da thunk it?

I'd go to the store and buy one. Make that two. Or a box.

Have you ever microwaved a Klondike bar?

-steve

Way to ruin the fun with practicality. >:O :P

And why would you microwave ice cream? That defeats its purpose: To be cold and refreshing.

-SV

Lazy bum

I would do NOTHING for a Klondike Bar.

-Allthesmallthings

THAT'S WHY KLONDIKE BARS DO NOTHING FOR YOU!

Well, they wouldn't if they were sentient beings.

-SV

This week in review.

We have some people who would go to great lengths to obtain this delicious ice cream bar while others would do the same to keep it out of their hands. Hooray for crazy ass topics!

Tune in the week after next for more mailbag fun! Same bat time, same bat channel!

-SV

Mailbag: Week of 7-21-04

What's on the top of your 'To-do before summer ends' list?

This little piggie sat on its fat, lazy ass all day long...

eat more fatty food...lay around more often...update less general slackage... the norm

Damn when is that SV clone getting here I sent away for it in march!

-Rick

That sounds a lot like my lazy ass self. :o:P I really need to get ONE WHFW update in before summer is out. Or maybe a demo of my RPGmaker game.

Your request for the SV clone has been..."intercepted".

-SV

MARIO

Ugh, school starts in but three weeks for me. I'll probably blow it playing Mario Tennis and Warcraft. Oh, and my so-far fruitless attempts to create fantasy land.

-Krem

Summer seems so long, but in the end school still manages to sneak up on us; especially if squander half the free time doing nothing. School is earlier for me because they had to sneak in one week breaks every nine weeks, shortening my summer. :(
Anyway, Mario Tennis is a fun way to waste your time, as is Mario Golf. :D

I'm taking my Gamecube down to south GA with me on my baseball trip and playing some Metriod Prime in the downtime between games at the hotel.

-SV

LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN!

1)Get RCR EX (what puzzels me is the my local EB games store doesen't have it on shelf) 2)Perfect my dart throwing 3)Successfully advertise my website, www.rpgmaker35.voidofmind.com 4)Win Baseball Mogul 2004 I sure hope this isn't a top 10....

-RPGmaker35

No top ten required; no one had that many anyway. You're the only one who made a list!
1. River City Ransom? I heard it's a pretty good game. I don't know much about it though...
2. I'd challenge you, but I haven't thrown a dart in years. I used to be pretty good at darts.
3. Tsk, tsk. Shameless plug!
4. I'm a video game fan and a sports fan, but not a sports video game fan (except for those goofy mario type games. Sports with a twist). I'm just not into the whole serious thing based on real life. Video games are like a whole different world for me. They need to be something different from just plain ol' real life. Besides, I get enough baseball already. :P

-SV

This is why they're called Canadians :P

WTF, I am SO the next sv, y'all.

I've been to Toronto this summer, so I'd say I'm doin' pretty good. I've also got camp to go to next week, and camp to work at the week after that. Then I've got a month for whatever, go me! I've also purchased Super Mario Sunshine (only took me three days to beat :(, though I've still got some shines to go for completing it) and FF7 (yay now I know who all the crazy people like Cloud and Sephiroth are :D), so they should keep me entertained.

So I'll see y'all later, huh?

-stareyE

SUNSHINE! FF7! "I need to finish that game..." Man, I say that a lot. I should copyright that phrase.

And you are so NOT the next SV...that last "huh?" needs to be and "eh?" Psh! You call yourself a southerner.

-SV

Take it to a PM!

I need to get you, Keith, and Danny over again so we can play FFCC. Why's everyone have to have other stuff to do in the summer? :(

I'm not looking forward to starting on my summer assignments either.

I also need to do some other stuff I think, but I forget at the moment.

-Soap

P.S. LET ME COME OVER EVEN IF YOU'RE PLAYING BASEBALL!!@!^$@!!TRYITREALLY

-Soap (Just for good measure)

We do need to get together sometime. As long as we're making private matters open: Let's shoot for the weekend after our band camp. Call Keith and see if he can do it.

I still have a Calculus thing to do, but I have a couple of weeks and my old trig notes.

-SV

The future of "school"

Bah! I need no summer! I have all my school lessons uploaded directly to my brain, minimizing school hours! Take THAT!

-GSGold

If you have all the lessons uploaded already, why do you even need school? It's not like you get valuable life lessons there or anything.

-SV

Pop flop

basically go to otakon and maybe kill a guy i dunno

-Wally

I really don't know what otakon is; you should tell me sometime. And killing is always fun...not that I know firsthand or anything.
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*kicks a rusty knife under the rug*

-SV

Because every mailbag should have a UR MOM(M) joke

BOAN UR MOMM!!1

-assjackson

The only reason I post these is because I know who you really are.

-SV

Plug and chug

For the end of the summer holiday i expect to get this system sold to someone. [Here's the url] if anyone is interested or wants to know something get in contact. I might be able to mail this to places other than the UK.

-William

*sigh* More shameless plugs. Oh well, good luck selling the thing!

-SV

This week in review.

Lots of entries again make me happy. :D

Looks like many of us are hanging around the house with our video games to finish off the summer. Not much to say this go round, so I think I'll go test out (again) a slightly crazy topic for the next "week."

-SV

Mailbag: Week of 7-10-04

What is your favorite video game system?

Howdy, eh?

I dont like SV anymore he makes me feel dumb Im making a anti SV topic I VOTE STAREYE AS THE NEXT SV!!

BTW N64 = teh yay

-Rick

How...descriptive. I like my N64 too. :D My current obsessions are Mario Tennis and Ogre Battle. Those games represent my two favorite game genres: RPG and sports games with a twist (it's not really a genre, but normal sports games suck).

And no one will accept a Canadian SV! I am wonderful in all my redneck glory!

-SV

Your face is a textarea

I'd have to say either Gamecube or SNES. Gamecube has a lot of fun games that I really enjoy (some being transferred from N64) and some new games that are awesome. SNES is cool too because there are games on that system that are only there and I've noticed that older games tend to be tougher. I miss playing some SNES games, such as The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. now I want to play that game :( but now that I think about it, I like pretty much all systems. except Xbox. I had no fun playing Xbox.

-Curlyfry

SNES was rockin'! Some of Nintendo's best and hardest games were made there and have sequals on more modern systems. I love A Link to the Past and Super Mario RPG out of the games I've played.

As for the GameCube...<3 is all I can say/type. I've loved every game that I've bought for it so far and it really is a no-fail system to get. :D

-SV

And the USB cable goes here...

I do not need any stupid video game systems! I just hook up some wires on my head and play any game I desire, using the power of my mind!

-GSGold

Couldn't that kind of power be better used to, say, hack into AOL and advertize the latest version of AOL that comes with a stress ball a 9mm to shoot yourself for buying it?

-SV

QUIT GETTING OFF TOPIC!

wtf you so ripped that off Calvin and Hobbes, yo.

What's my favorite video game system? I dunno. SNES had most my favorite games, while the GCN has the best controllers, and the playstations (and I would imagine the Xbox, though I'm not sure) can play CDs and junk. I'm going to complain for a minute about the GBASP though, it's too small, it makes my large hands uncomfortable. Okay that wasn't a minute, but it could have ben if you were reading slow. Or if you stopped to look up each word in the dictionary or something.

Now it's time for random stuff. Go spanking! Kids who don't get spanked turn into toads. And by toads, I mean brats. Toronto was good fun, it was big and smelly and overpopulated. I also got to go up the CN Tower and jump on the glass floor, it was cool. Ottawa was interesting as well, there were groundhogs everywhere. Seriously, we saw 30-40 on the side of the road once. They were HOGGING THE GROUND OMG FANN-AY!1!

-STAREYe

Groundhogs? GROUNDHOGS?! WE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' - *is shot*

Anyway, you seem to like most any system like the j-man does. WHY DON'T YOU GET AN N-GAGE. IT R TEH BOBM! But seriously, so far Nintendo has system favorite dominance!

PS: We talked about proper punishment of kids in the last topic. I think I'll go reread it.

-SV

64 bits of pleasure ;P

I'm not much of a gamer, but my favorite video game system would have to be the Nintendo 64. There aren't very many reasons, I just really like the games I have for it...

-Allthesmallthings

It's such a simple reason, but it makes so much sense. Games are the only reason to get a system, and if the system has what you look for in games, then BAM, instant love. Chalk another point up for Nintendo!

-SV

Why did I put this on here?

LOL XOBX HUEG

-ass jackson

Wally's joke persona apparently has a dislike for X-box's size. We feel you.

-SV

For the love of the RPG

Personally, I like the SNES. It came during the golden age of RPG gaming. It produced the finest game in all of the Final Fantasy line(Final Fantasy 3[US]), it was the system where the incomparably awesome Chrono Trigger was released, and it had "WHEEL OF FORTUNE". Hell yes.

-Wally

Oldie but goodie. :) SNES will never be forgotten. Sad to say for me is that the only RPG I've played on my Super Nintendo is Super Mario RPG.

-SV

How bo0ring!

My favourite Viseo Game Sysytm? Mine is the Super Nintendo Entertainment system. Why? MY Turbo Grafx 16 is too bo0ring, My Game Boy Advance wastes my batteries and most of my pc games are slow/choppy. I also have more sports games for SNES. :D And i think thats it...

Oh wait, SNES music is way better <3 (whatever that smiliey means...)

-RPGmaker35

Chalk up another point for the oldie! :D The only sports type game I've played for SNES is Mario Kart, so I really can't relate to you on the sports game thing. :P

-SV

This week in review.

Lots of entries this time around makes me happy. :D

Nintendo takes control of our polls here, and the SNES edges over N64 for the overall victory! This only proves that it was always better in the good ol' days.

I managed to get off my lazy ass and do something/update (thanks to wally for reminding me to do so) and it looks like these somewhat generic/mundane (at least to me) topics stay for awhile. You guys respond well to them. :D

A crazy topic may find its way in every once in awhile, but you didn't hear that from me. >.>

PS: If you're wondering about the odd update day for the next mailbag, it's because I'm working around my baseball and band camp stuff.

-SV