Pokémon Crystal Version Collabfest

I really want to get out of this awful town alreaaaaady



this is a fucking stupid "nickname" and I hate it



I hate you



I already know that and I also hate you a lot



your mother doesn't love you



or the other one either



or your awful "bug "



THAT DOESN'T ACTUALLY MEAN ANYTHING


 
anyways yeah as you may have guessed this gym is filled with little bugs.
...and they all use insect .



Oh! this doesn't really belong in here but I went and talked to the charcoal guys and they thanked me for not stealing their duck by giving me a piece of charcoal. For some reason this seems like an awful reward.



This kid's hair is green.



I wonder if any gym leader has ever stopped to consider why dedicating themselves to a single type of Pokemon might be a bad idea.


 
Somebody call the police; this guy seems to have lost his gender



Anyways. he has a couple of cocoons which SOAP makes short work of



and his Scyther gets fucking butchered by throwing a couple rocks at it.



yes. give it to me so I can get out of here already.



get! This lets us use cut and traded up to level 30 and doesn't raise any stats.



You can stop right there, I already know I'm not interested in it



I don't understand how a human person can discover a attack. IT MAKES NO SENSE.



hi i'm daisy



I really don't like the Chikorita family very much at all so ODDISH goes in the PC and WENDY comes out.



What the hell, let's have this happen before I hand this off to somebody else.



Yes. Yes, I do. Thanks for noticing.



Okay! That's all for me. Next in line.

It's your turn, Rick. Keep it secret! Keep it safe!

cellent work so far, everyone!

(I'm having some trouble getting the game file/save to work and my idea for a update actually fell through so I guess I should pass my turn until I get a idea again or we need someone to grind out several levels as my usual fare.  I hated this part of the game anyway.

SK go on ahead with yours and once soap and I hammer out why my big gay emulator doesnt work and we need a person to grind levels I'll hop back in for my turn)

If it's my save file that's the problem then let me know so I can... take whatever action is necessary, I guess.

The save works fine. I'll work things out with Rick. It is SK's turn now though!

Can I just say that using the emoticon in regular text is annoying and dumb?

SK will be gone until Wednesday, it would seem. If anyone's really excited and wants to do a part tomorrow (Tuesday), go ahead and jump in. Be sure to tell us you're doing it though!

I can wait. It's a day (plus a little more maybe). Unless you think we need the momentum? But we're doing good... we're curving into Gamma's first post, and then me, and then you again so I think we've got motivation and shit.

Waiting's an option too! Yeah, we're not going to die if we go another day without a part getting done. IM JUST SAYIN...

SK will be gone until Wednesday, it would seem.

i can probably start tuesday night, at least get the gameplay out of the way. I was just sorta hoping to save the totp for early wednesday morning and immediately follow up with fest.

Oh, tricky!

[I trust Pokemon about as far as I can throw 'em, and I trust people even less.]

well that aint even REMOTELY right!




okay so lets play some pokemon its been a while

what the fuck am i doing




slowpoke's lookin a little "uh-uh no way girl-friend" there




confused yawn is the best expression




who the fuck are you




okay someone was bitching about some sprout tower so i guess i better go tear it down




but first i must traverse through these caves with nothing but rock enemies and my team of creatures who only know attacks weak against them




a lot of this happens




geodude is a bad influence on your children




I HAVE NO TIME FOR GAMES




oh goddamnit no i was so clos-




oh, hey, i want you!




you WILL be mine crocodile




oh for the love of




"Like ex-boyfriends!"




Oh, we just got CUT. This will be useful.








will you stop




yo sup nice view up here




JESUS CHRIST




YOU'RE A WEIRDO




It has fruit-bearing hips




My Own Prz




uh, hot damn, that be expensive. I bought 2.




...are you telling me that Potions and Antidotes are naturally made, then?




i wonder what the theme of this area is going to be

hint: its stupidity




It's like the creators said "oh man lets have an entire building dedicated to one pokemon and have everyone inside worship it like Gods for no particular reason" and they threw all the pokemon into a hat and drew at random.



i have a hard time believing this building can actually stay upright with this as its support




oh well obviously




golly, an HM!? Those are ALWAYS useful!




uuuh really now




uh oh time to shatter the dreams of several individuals




why




IT BEGINS




That sounds fairly counterproductive




"Welp, we got all this cartridge space, better give the bellsprouts a neck dance"




This totally breaks my immersion




do people in this world do anything outside of animal cruelty




That is a thing to say when losing to a child




I trust Pokemon about as far as I can throw 'em, and I trust people even less.




ive balanced out the team levels a little more, now we are significantly more effective




hoot if you love pokemon




uh oh, its The Bad Guy




three deminsional character




hey dude whats goin o-HEY IS THAT CRAP




AWWW YEEEE-in hindsight i totally forgot i actually picked this up.




you're doing a bang-up job of it i assure you




didnt you just LOSE? do you have a pokecenter behind that statue? thats cheatin, dawg.




this game never ceases to surprise me




although i am totally amused by the things that pop up as a result of metronome




jokes about nudity

anyway now we can go through caves that are normally too dark to see in, but i dont know where those are so i didnt bother screwing with the movesets until someone who has an idea of what they want to do makes that decision.

[BELIEVE]

alright I gotta get outta here and actually find some non-small-fries



who the fuck are you




help i need an adult




...did I just get a spontaneous call from an old loner just so he could tell me that he's been too busy staring at women to stay focused? Uuuuuh.




It never ends.




MY POKEBALL AND ME




oh shit wow




fortunately his strength is no match for THE EGG




make up your mind




I wonder whose that is




I dunno he seems to be distracted with something going on above us




this battle was great because its these two dumbasses doing nothing but tackle over and over again, so I just picture two stupid sloths weakly headbutting each other until one eventually just falls asleep




by the end of this game I'm going to be just berried underneath all these items




why arent we using this again




movin on up




oh shit, weedle is protecting the tomb of the ancients!!




uh yeah whatever dude you have fun with that




god not you again




MINDBLOWING




STOP STALKING PEOPLE




okay whatever i kill this guys labia and get out of this forest




okay, i think you're confusing me with aaron




frogs.mp3




at this point all my pokemon are suffering and im two steps away from sweet city freedom but this asshole




i dont have time for this




heyyy a move that isn't tackle, ill take it




aw yeah i made some progress i think maybe




this is a town noteworthy for apparently two things
a) being painted gold
b) having the worst layout in the world




just as long as you dont call me every hour to creep me out ill be good




LOW PROFILE




YOU CANNOT BELIEVE HOW INTERESTING THAT IS




what the fuck




good a place as any to save!




its great because i didnt bother to read the questions and instead held down the turbo key while mashing until i figured out the pattern because it makes no attempt to punish you for getting it wrong which in all essence means this is a giant waste of time




"makes it sorta hard to masturbate to her"




Lady, that's my line




im really just talking to random people and getting random items and i have zero idea what they're for




welp, this isnt where the action is! :goodatpokemon:

yeah, so, theres a gym, so i should probably do that! that usually causes things.




Third gym in and we're going back to the normal types? Whatev, man, whatev...




i like where this is going




I'd make a blonde joke but she's clearly a blue-head.




mmm yeah them flowers sure are prety




then this meowth showed up and fucked my shit




Pokemon Schoolgirls Special Edition




This animation is, like, really awesome for just amounts to debuff skills.




oh and soap gets paralyzed a lot for some reason




these guys are all higher level than me and I'm just scrapping by...




so lets go do other things dont worry they'll be fine waiting for me




"But then he figured out that if he increased that number, he could make more money!"




You see a strange tree and your first idea is to TALK to it?




Uh, actually I...




okay buddy look




please stop




oh shit an actually noteworthy pokemon, we're all fucked




yay?




who the fuck are you




NO I WILL NOT FUCK YOU




"In the middle of all this plant-life!"




Really? That's a "thing" now?




Golly!




ITS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE




who the fuck are yo-oh hi mom




this is getting ridiculous




so this circus theme is happening




by the way, he has 4 underleveled voltorbs. Shocking!




or yeah that




i apparently take very little screenshots of me on the field but i wandered into the park, found this, and deemed it the only interesting thing ive encountered to warrant me catching it, and I bought these pokeballs, so...




YOU WILL NOT TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME




awww yeah, now its time to make poorly thought out references with its name because thats how I roll




Okay, that's TOO poorly thought out




Yeah, way better!




get outta here akuma, let a real man show you how its done




uh, yeah, going back to the gym




Hahahahaha, wow, really?




Fun fact: Poison totally has a fighting move! Her his timing couldn't have been better.




Lady, that's my line.




you are an immensely interesting character, please star in my fanfic




My ambiguously-gendered horned beast is going to kick your face in




I will never eat again




LOOK, NOW IS NOT A GOOD TIME




What is wrong with you people




So I went back and made good of my word




You're annoying.




...uh...




Woman.




yeah thats fascinating maybe she can do her job and actually give me the badge that i just earned or something, just maybe




Boy do I know a guy you'd get along well with

Apparently I didn't grab a screenshot but I just totally saved and decided to let the next person in line do things because fuck all if I have any clue what I'm doing, LATER

oh yeah and heres the sav

you are an immensely interesting character, please star in my fanfic

Also, Gamma, you're up!

alright let's go get that badge because SK didn't

(not pictured: I wander around goldenrod for a while looking for the gym)



hey he looks like he knows his way around



whoops, never mind, just this guy again



eventually I realized that the long bars going across the north edge of town were not, in fact, boundary lines, but railroad tracks, and that there was another half of the city past them



gog damn this game is hard, how am I supposed to even get over there


"PLAINBADGE lets your Pokemon use STRENGTH outside of battle.  It also boosts your Pokemon's SPEED."


"It's ATTRACT!  It makes full use of a Pokemon's CHARM.  Isn't it just perfect for a cutie like me?"

whatever you say, lady, I just want the badge!



Alright, I have no idea what I'm doing, but north looks like a good option.







hey this pokemon looks pretty cool, I'll try to catch -



it....




uhh well I didn't do a very good job of documenting this but it looks like he gave me this TM.  I seem to remember it being a pretty good move, but I'll let somebody who knows what they're doing deal with it.



moving swiftly along...



haha whoops






just getting some guy's number, nbd

actually I remember this one told me he would call me if he found something lying on the ground, which I thought might lead to some interesting episodes... unfortunately, he has not called yet :/



I didn't get a screenshot of it, but a girl was up here and said you need to pour water on this tree to make it get out of your way

she also said you can find a water something at the flower shop.  Unfortunately, I don't remember where the flower shop is.  Whatever, it shouldn't be that hard to find.



that's not a flower shop, silly!



what park



ohhh



"excuse me sir but texting is not allowed in nation parks"



I spent about 15 minutes searching this whole place for a way to get on the other side of that fence
what is in that pokeball...?
the world may never know



aww yeahhh



maybe because you've got parts laying all over the floor and your customers trip over them and die

also this goddamn town layout



"home address, social security number, mother's maiden name, and if you are free next friday..."



okay whatever just give it to me



yeah like I'll be giving this back





now, on to find that flower shop



oh for



leave me alone



help wheres the exit



somehow I don't think I should be doing that badly against a level 5 caterpie

also check out that exp bar



obligatory transition shot



azalea... that's a kind of flower, right?  it's gotta be around here somewhere



crap this is where that creepy hiker dude is!  I'm outta here!


"have gone through the roof!  We owe it all to your advertising by riding around on our bicycle!  As our way of saying thanks, please keep that bicycle.  Thanks again!"

uh yeah, thanks for... letting me... keep it!



hmm this doesn't seem quite right



violet!  that's a flower for sure!  there has to be a flower shop here!



...
are you kidding me right now

you have got to be kidding



WHERE IS THE FLOWER SHOP



ageouweguaowueuwgoaougowaguoguag

you'd think at this point I would remember how to get back



god, not the lost woods again!



phew!  made it out alive!



now, next to the gym... where's the gym again?



that's not it



go away...



ugh whatever I'm not even listening



hmm no gym here either....




there we go



give me that water

you don't know what I went through to get here



"it could fall on you and give you a bruise!"



what is this, a zelda trading quest



...



what



why didn't you just give me that last time?!



also gonna stock up on pokeballs since I apparently have tons of money all of the sudden



"the water smells like stale pee!"







might as well try to catch this guy I guess



down+b



down+b down+b down+b



gog damn



whoops



there we go



why a plant doesn't like water will always baffle me

also, the next person will have to find out what I nicknamed him
honestly I don't even remember



moving on



...on second thought, I'll go back to the pokemon center first



hey are these rare
I should try to catch it



hmmm



gah



god damn it not you again


"The other day, I was watching my GEODUDE eat some BERRIES.  It looked like it was enjoying its meal, so I decided to try some.  I'm not sure if people should eat that stuff, but it was deilcious!  Lately, I've been running across wild GEODUDE quite often.  They're easily taken care of."



you are weird.