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Topic: December 19th: Paper Mario and the Year of A Thousand Doors  (Read 3629 times)
Scrow Funk
  • wheres the beef
Permalink  •  December 19, 2012, 08:03:19 PM
December 19th: Paper Mario and the Year of A Thousand Doors
« on: December 19, 2012, 08:03:19 PM »

Continuing from where we left off,

Wake up, sleepy-bones! We got us some images to fest!

This town is so rude, I mean that guy hasn't even had a chance to rip me off


Don't worry, mate. Pretty soon we'll ditch this town and never have to deal with it again.


But I suppose it'll take us another 100 years 50 years boss fight to get our stuff back, won't it

Bandit: Fine! FINE, Ok? You got me. I'll give you your coins back. Here.

I'm a little bummed that we don't get to pummel this guy but at least we got our coinage back.

Bandit: So, don't come grumbing to me about losing a little pocket change, Ok, buddy?

theives? in rogueport? now i've seen everything

Now that that's over with, I guess I should go meet up with Professor E. Goom or rescuing the Chancellor or whatever it was I'm supposed to be doing.

I guess he can tell because I'm not dressed in rags and covered in a thick coat of filth

Well, we do have 10 times that amount, so

it's the principle of the thing, you see

we'll see how big you talk when i break your fuckin beak, nerd

maybe i should have thought this through a little more

Let's have a look at what Goombella can do in battle:

Goombella: Max HP is 20, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. All in all, he' spretty tough. Oh, and I've told you a million times... that pointy spear of his hurts if you stomp on it

cool thanks for the heads-up :thumbsup:

if i could get a job loitering on a street corner and scaring out-of-towners i wouldn't want to miss work either

yeah it surprised me too

Gus: You have no chance of beating me, trust me... So, you'd better run. Yeah, if you don't, seriously, it'll be Game Over for you! You can choose to Run from your Tactics menu. Sometimes it's best to run.

"I hope for your sake you hit a Save Block and used your Nintendo GamecubeTM 8MB Memory Card to Save Your Game before you started this Optional Boss Fight

figuratively speaking, of course"

Well, I could run away

Or I can use my partner as a meat shield.

'Atta girl! Remember: You can't spell "team" without "meat" [shield]

This is me owning this jerk with a counter! If you press B at the right time during an enemy attack, you don't take any damage and do 1 point of damage to the enemy instead. The timing isn't nearly as generous as a normal guard though so it's kind of risky if you don't knows about timed hits like us pros do

If this game was more like WRPG's I would seriously solve every problem in the game though shear strength, bullying, and hit-timing. But alas,

Scrow Funk
  • wheres the beef
Permalink  •  December 19, 2012, 08:05:06 PM
Re: December 19th: Paper Mario and the Year of A Thousand Doors
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2012, 08:05:06 PM »

That last fight wiped us pretty hard so let's go get some of those precious precious heart points back.

A skull & crossbones and a steaming bottle of grog: the international symbol for a classy hotel

Unfortunately even the refuge in the port of filthiness still smells kind of funny but them's the breaks

This is actually the cheapest place to get health back in the game, so naturally we'll be coming back here multiple times during subsequent dungeons

i'm sure i'll sleep very comfortably


I guess we should stop screwing around and move the storyline forward so we can get out of this shitty town

Look at all those books! This guy must be the smartest guy in town!



Frankly: Ah. Yes. You. Now, you, uh.... I've seen your face before... Yes, that face.... Wait for it... Just a moment... Don't tell me, now! Silence! I'll get it right! Umm... It's not Goombriel... Err.... It's not Elizagoom...

C'mon gramps that aren't that many pun names left

Frankly. You're Goombella, aren't you? you were in my archaeology class last year, am I right?
Goombella: Wow, yes, sir! That's me! I'm Goombella, a junior at U Goom! Goooo GOOMBAS!

gooms gone wild

Frankly: Of coure I remember you. Not to toot my horn, but I'm pretty good at remembering. You, though... You stick out in my mind because you were such an exceptional student. And that guy behind you is...

geez mario's getting really indignant about this senile old geezer from another country not knowing who he his

Goombella: Mario! Professor, he's Mario! You know... the famous one!
Frankly: Oh! My apologies. I'm such a bookworm, I haven't a clue about what's "hip" right now.

The professor's definition of "what's hip" extends to current events, evidently

Frankly: In any case, what sort of errand brings you two all the way to a place like this?
Goombella: We were hoping you'd tell us about the legendary treasure said to be below Rogueport! I thought if anyone knew anything about it, you would, Professor Frankly...

note that at this point goombella's already talked to so many other people in town that the x-nauts have started trailing her.

Frankly: Of coure I know about it. The reason I came here was to study that very subject. But why do you tykes want to learn about the legendary treasure?


Frankly: You know that most say it's little more than a fairy tale, don't you?
Goombella: Archaeologists and historians have to search for the truth in those fairy tales, though!

"For example, take the popular fairy tale Shrek 4ever After,"

Goombella: Me, I believe the legendary treasure truly does exist! And I REALLY want to find it!
Frankly: Good point! And well made! In that case, I'll cooperate with you however I can. First of all, about the treasure... There are many mysteries surrounding it. Some say it's an infinitely vast treasure hoard, while others say it's a magical item.

obviously it's a magical item. the game isn't called paper mario and the vast treasure hoard, now is it???

Frankly: Some books say it's actually a monster, while others still claim it's an empty chest...

man now that i think about it how awesome would it have been if the treasure changed depending on how you played the game? like if you're just shit the whole game and die a bunch and don't finish any sidequests you end up with the empty chest and a fart noise but if you do ALL the timed-hits then you get the best ending where mario ends up with marle AND lucca

Frankly: So many different theories... Obviously, it's impossible to divine the truth among them.... But all agree on one point: to find the treasure, one must have the Crystal Stars!
Goombella: "To find the treasure of yore, take the seven Crystal Stars to the Thousand-Year Door!" ...You mean the Crystal Stars in that old saying that super-elderly people pass down?

I like the idea of old folks passing down a seemingly nonsense saying while keeping it preserved perfectly for 1000 years


thanks, professor, my pea brain was really reeling trying to unravel the mystery hidden in that fuckin enigmatic proverb

Goombella: "Hold the Magical Map aloft before the entrance to the Thousand-Year Door. Then the stars will light the way that leads to the stones of yesterday." Yeah...

woah woah woah, slow down, shakespeare. could you translate that into plain english for me?

Goombella A lot of the lore I've read says that if this Magical Map is taken to the doorway...then it'll show you where to find the Crystal Stars!

much better, thanks :awwwright:

Frankly: Correct! And the Thousand-Year Door is supposedly here, deep benearth this town. Yet the critical piece of the puzzle-- the Magical Map -- is lost. If only we had that map!
Goombella: But we DO have it, Professor! OR... Well, not "we," exactly... MARIO has the Magical Map!

holy smokes, get a grip old man

"I can tell because it looks just like this picture of it that I have (???)"

Frankly: You, son, are my HERO! You're great! Fantastic! WONDERFUL, even! With this.... We can find the Crystal Stars just by holding this aloft before the legendary door!
Goombella: Right on, Professor!

This giant legendary door buried in the ruins under the town? Of course that thing exists. But the treasure said to be behind it? That's just a fairy tale. I'm a man of Reason and Logic

Frankly: Good golly, what are we doing just sitting here, then?!? Goombella! Mario! Off we must go, this instant! Let's take the Magical Map to the legendary door!

"We might see a couple of urban youths down there, if you catch my drift"

This guy can't take a hint

"Oh you fancy, huh?"


and somehow this effect works perfectly

Scrow Funk
  • wheres the beef
Permalink  •  December 19, 2012, 08:05:54 PM
Re: December 19th: Paper Mario and the Year of A Thousand Doors
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2012, 08:05:54 PM »

yeah the slums in rogueport are pretty underground, you've probably never heard of thelhaksjhdflkashjdf

"oh fellas, please~" *blushes and giggles coyly*

oh you were talking to her

totally barf-o-rama.  totes barfage. TB [total barfola]. Teenaged Girl Here

Wings: What, you're too good for us? Come off it, sister!
Spiketop: Nobody zings us like that! Nobody! Let's get 'em!

why do i keep getting dragged into these fights that the girl starts

Frankly: The only one I should warn you about is that fellow in the middle: the Spiny Goomba. See that spike on his head? Well, jump on that and you're the one who'll take damage!

thank goodness they haven't got enough brain power between the three of them to put the spike cap on the flying guy

"Cry Some Moar" - Fat Gun Guy, Cooperative Stronghold



platforming rpg

For those of you wondering why it doesn't make Mario double in size: Do you see the word "Super" in front of "Mushroom?" That's what I thought. Sit down, noobs.

I still have no idea why they're called Heart Points instead of Hit Points. They're functionally identical, even the acronym is the same.

Really, the only problem I have with the series is that the Fire Flower was relagated to item status from being a move in SMRPG. If there was a Paper Mario that incorporated timed hits into the fireballs move again, it'd be perfect!

uh. what


Scrow Funk
  • wheres the beef
Permalink  •  December 19, 2012, 08:07:01 PM
Re: December 19th: Paper Mario and the Year of A Thousand Doors
« Reply #3 on: December 19, 2012, 08:07:01 PM »

back 2 adventure


A key? Well, I haven't seen a locked door yet but, regardless, I Must Have That Key

how could this happen.... my jumping powers have... failed me...

hurrr i wonder what this switch does


that is not what i was expecting

falling powers: succeeding where jumping powers fail since 1985

Goombella: And, um... Yeah, there's just not much else, really.

Goombella is a veritable encyclopedia of fun facts and cool trivia

Chest: Hey! You! Can you hear me? You can?!? That must mean you're the hero of legend!

"It's-a.... me???"

Chest:: See, long ago, an evil spirit cast a curse on me, locking me in this box. I was bummed. I've been here ever since, waiting a long, LONG time for the hero to come by! So, yeah, anyway, big guy... What brings a hero like you to a place like this?

If there's one thing Portal taught me, its actually on second thought im not doing this joke

I guess those creepy jumpsuits at the pier were just a bunch of heroes, too, huh

Chest: So, first you should look for the key to this box. Then use it to let me out. Definitely.

It looks like a key, that's black. In case you've never played a video game before

Vote for progress. Vote for change. Vote for Find Key this ad paid for by the committee to find that fuckin key and get the plot moving already

Scrow Funk
  • wheres the beef
Permalink  •  December 19, 2012, 08:08:26 PM
Re: December 19th: Paper Mario and the Year of A Thousand Doors
« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2012, 08:08:26 PM »

Yup, here it is!

welp see ya later

lol j/k

You're welcome, my good- buh WUHHHHHHHH????????!???!???

im starting to think maybe we shouldn't have trusted this guy after all

so this is how it all ends. englufed by the source engine error texture

Chest: Instead, I'm gonna spread a little of the suffering I've endured in that stupid box! Yeah! Sorry, but those are the breaks! I'm gonna cast an evil, terrible curse upon you!

c'mon man, i helped you out! couldn't just cast an indifferent, benign curse on me

ah, phooey.

Chest: You wanna hear all about the sweet curse I just dropped? Then listen well! From now on, if you press [Y] in certain areas, you'll turn into a paper airplane!

NOOOOOOOO- wait what did you say


chortle it up, Chuckles. but if you start guffawing at me shit's gonna get real

Chest: Ready? If you stand on an airplane panel like this one, the floor will start to glow. Yeah, OK, you're on the panel. Now try pressing [Y]! And then, bam! you're a paper airplane!

ok well i guess this curse doesn't sound soo bad


Chest: I guess if you got good at it, you might fly a long way... but that's the ONLY good thing.

i'm sorry i can't hear you over the sound of every nerve in my body screaming in agony

of course i picked the first option. u mad, forced tutorial?


(this seriously happened two more times because i'm a complete idiot irl)

phew, back to normal. wait a minute i'm still made out of paper NOOOOOOOOOOOO

"where's the beef" - elizagoom,  2012

Alright time to give that new ability a quick test-drive


Paper Mario and the Big Big Door :wow:

"Who could have guessed that it was hiding a mere 3 minute walk from my front door this whole time"

Scrow Funk
  • wheres the beef
Permalink  •  December 19, 2012, 08:10:09 PM
Re: December 19th: Paper Mario and the Year of A Thousand Doors
« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2012, 08:10:09 PM »

That's all for now, folks. Be sure to come back for next year's content drive where I'll finally finish the prologue!!

Permalink  •  December 19, 2012, 08:42:35 PM
Re: December 19th: Paper Mario and the Year of A Thousand Doors
« Reply #6 on: December 19, 2012, 08:42:35 PM »

Pretty A++ posting there, Scrow ol' boy.

If there was a Paper Mario that incorporated timed hits into the fireballs move again, it'd be perfect!

You mean Sticker Star?
I work with lasers but can't figure out my oven.
  • I work with lasers but can't figure out my oven.
Permalink  •  December 20, 2012, 06:31:26 AM
Re: December 19th: Paper Mario and the Year of A Thousand Doors
« Reply #7 on: December 20, 2012, 06:31:26 AM »

I had fun A/5

"Always remember, stay flappy" -Soaprman 2014
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