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"OH GOD WHAT THE HELL I JUST WANTED TO SEE THEM AUGH I SEE BLOOD"



Congratulations, Soap, this is probably the only time you'll score a super effective STAB move...



You must be mellow as SHIT



Hi, Berry!



YOUR BLOOD WILL NURISH MY VITAL ORGANS



This shit again?



Oh, well, for free shit, that's something else!



sir that is not how meditation works



Finding inner peace to KICK YOUR ASS! -chock nurris



I'm pretty sure Daisy is the kind of person who accepts every friend request on Facebook.



pro at pokenaming



Somehow the mere fact that it is title cased makes it sound so much creepier.



Hi, Mint Berry!



I'm talking to an imaginary not-cow. Clearly, this is the life.



n'more. [...] It'll give me lots o' milk if'n I feed it lots o' BERRIES, I reckon.

"Hon? The horses are sick again." "GIVE THEM MORE BERRIES" "The cows are vomiting!" "SHOVE MORE BERRIES IN THEIR FACE" "I think the dog died..." "MORE BERRIES"



but you're still hungry

:!!!: PIKACHU! :!!!:



...pikachu... :/



Pikachu!!!



GOD DAMN FUCKING PIKACHU



Take that, Pikachu!



GO SUCK A GOD DAMN COCK PIKACHU



NO IT IS NOT A GOOD TIME



BURN IN THE FIRES OF THE SUN PIKACHU



FEEL THE ETERNAL FIRES OF MY VENGANCE



Your time will come...

AGNK#EGIAWBAWUGWAUGAWG- Hi, I'm Daisy!







FUCK



Well, okay, that might be neat.



...well, this probably won't do anything.



You're just fucking with me now.



*sigh*



THERE we go. Well, kinda. Giga Drain is stupidly weak back here in Generation II.



At least the animation's cool?!?



The shit are you up to. I guess someone else handle this when it's "night"?



This looks like a good place to stop. Second verse, same as the first!

Hey Soap, here's the save file.

curse

fucking lol

Awesome posts great fest... I'll do my part Saturday.

I'm back in the driver's seat, and what progress we've made since I was last here!



I know, isn't it the coolest?

After that brief friendly chat with a local, I run into none other than our pal Waluigi.



You again? There's no need to panic. I don't bother with wimps like you. Speaking of weaklings, the city's GYM LEADER isn't here. Supposedly taking care of a sick POKeMON at the LIGHTHOUSE. Humph! Boo-hoo! Just let sick POKeMON go! A POKeMON that can't battle is worthless! Why don't you go train at the LIGHTHOUSE? Who knows. It might make you a bit less weak!

Yeah, then I might even be able to beat you!



Champ in the Making Guy confirms the situation.



If my gym was this boring I wouldn't want to hang out in it, either.





And if it's on the sea, there are bound to be fish! I've fished here for 30 years. Would you like to face the sea and fish?

You KNOW it!!!! :awwwight:



It's pretty good I guess...

Fish aren't found in the sea alone. They go wherever there is water.

Like in your toilet or in the cup of water on your desk.



The sea is sweet! Sunsets on the sea are marvelous! Sing with me! Yo-ho! Blow the man down!...

Yeah... sure is...



Anyway, enough dillydallying. Let's get to business.



Here are some pokemon whose names weren't revealed! Guess I done spoiled it now! Maybe a couple were and I just don't remember. Well now you know!



Here is our current lineup...



Do we really want a Beedrill in our party anymore? Sorry, SOAPRMAN, you're not good enough anymore. :cool:



hrmmmmm nah.



Hah! Your POKeMON sure look like lightweights! They don't have the power to move boulders aside.

Well, um, no. Guess you got me there.

Here, use this and teach them STRENGTH!



On the sea, the only thing you can count on is your own good self! I'm so proud of my buff bod!

That's good. I'm glad someone is proud of it.



LET'S GO FISHING :!!!:



Alright, I found a fish! Let's catch this sucker.



Level 20 already. It'll fit into our team just fine!



Don't let that mean pokedex say bad things about you, Magikarp! I know you're awesome.



I also found another one?



For reals, though, here's something better.



Might as well use this thing...



Got us a crab! Yeehaw!



I deposit TOASTY into the PC. So long, old friend.



I pull out SIDEKICK. Get a real man's pokemon in the team.



Kind of want to give TRIFORCE a try too but we'll need another deposit to make it happen.



BIOSPARK has been in the party from the beginning and is now old enough to retire. Thanks for your years of service, friend!



Wow, what a shitty lighthouse.



It was built by vampires.

[Spoiler]

I step in and am immediately called by our friend Anthony.



Nothing's really changed with this guy.



I'm not playing. This is serious business.



This battle goes predictably.

Spoiler for SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE:

NOOOOOOOO YOU BITCH! YOU BITCH

It wasn't actually a very good fight...



BARF!



Dude wanted me to take his number. I obliged.

So that battle did take a bit of a toll... let's check our bag for healing items.



Wow. This is barren. In fact, this won't do. Not at all.



Nope, not at all.



We simply must do something about this.



Hi, Red Apricorn!



I also caught this thing along the way. Fire-types are cool, right?



CHECK OUT THIS CLEVER NAME!!!! Too bad I didn't name him this.



Won't do, won't do at all!



Hey, remember this?



There's a hole in the fence.



This was worth backtracking for.



More good stuff this way...



Hooray for stuff!



Gotta fix this right up.



Here we are! The Goldenrod dept. store!



don't care



don't care



don't care



don't care



don't care



don't care



BINGO



Pardon? Who says an adult can't get into this? I'm going to be back every day to collect all the dolls!

These are the wrong vending machines.



These are the right vending machines.



LEMONADE

LEMONADE

LEMONADE EVERYWHERE :flipthefuckout:



Here's what the wallet looks like when I finish.



And here's what the bag looks like. Yeah, you're welcome.



And here's the TM from the park. It's not as busted as it was in 1st gen (they toned down its power a lot) but it's still decent.



THAT'S THE PLAN



Alright, we can go back now.

My VENONAT won me the Bug-Catching Contest at the NATIONAL PARK. Do you get the feeling that there are more rare POKeMON around? I'm positive there are, so I look all the time. If I find one, I want to share the good news with everyone I know. I know! Give me your phone number.

Sure, why not.



Wait, what? Yeah, apparently we can only hold ten phone numbers.



It's time to prune the phonebook, and we all know who has to go. Sorry, didn't mean to delete you. I was distracted by THE IDEA OF A LIFE WHERE YOU NEVER CALL ME.



I just say fuck it and delete all the chumps except story characters. Even Youngster Joey.



Now we can fill up on more stupid phone numbers and get some fresh stupid messages! Nah, this guy calls when Yanma swarms. Maybe we want a Yanma in our team? Maybe? No?



I guess it wasn't meant to be.



The Bug-Catching Contest is held on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Not only do you earn a prize just for participating, you also get to keep the bug POKeMON you may have at the end of the contest.

It's Saturday, so I tried to do the contest, but apparently it's not today? Maybe the emulator's got something to do with it. Oh well, no biggie.



This wild pokemon sounds different...



DEAR ARCEUS IT'S ENTEI



Oh well. It was a nice try. He would have been so useful to the team, too!



We back! Let's finish up that lighthouse.

Lots of bird catchers in here...



How the heck do you go up? I want to visit the sick POKéMON, but I can't get up there...

Well, you go up every stairs you see until you get up to the top?







JASMINE used to use rock POKéMON like ONIX.

Then it evolved and she changed her type to steel. All her other old rock pokémon were discarded and now fend for themselves in Olivine's alleyways.



Watch as THE EGG's bad stats take a super effective move and make it suck!



Dude. Arnie. Not right now.



No fair, SIDEKICK didn't come with bubblebeam. Also, I got careless. :(



We're pretty high up here. My bird POKéMON are in prime form.

Yep, birds are at their best in tall, narrow lighthouses.



This takes a lemonade but actually doesn't go badly. Leer + Vicegrip is actually quite strong.



:9/11:



My POKéMON learned how to use FLY in CIANWOOD. Well, since I'm a loser, I'll FLY across the sea...

This guy with wings crying and flying across the sea. Great mental picture.



Good find. Don't use this until later in the game when it's worth more EXP! :gwonam:



Very good TM here. Use it wisely!



Actually, the guy who didn't know how to go up was on to something. To really go up you have to fall down then climb these stairs.



It can barely breathe and the only word it can say is "paloo". Poor thing.



JASMINE: ... This POKéMON always kept the sea lit at night. ...But it suddenly got sick... It's gasping for air... I understand that there is a wonderful PHARMACY in CIANWOOD... But that's across the sea... And I can't leave AMPHY unattended... May I ask you to get some medicine for me? Please?

Yes... Jasmine... I will get you... some medicine...



Sell this and use the $350 to buy another lemonade.



We outta here!



Go out to sea and zap to the extreme! :crayolafuckingmodelmagic:

damberus to go alone take this kenny man

[Spoiler]

Alright let's do this shits


Very nite


Alright, I remember something about getting some medicine for some stupid thing.


Looks like it's just down and left.


It's a nice night!


A'ight.


I thought Akuma was a Slowpoke, not a Lapras...


Route Fotie.


You have to warm up before going into the water. That's basic.
Thanks for the tip!


Swimmer :simon:!


Yeah. About that.


Constrict isn't a good move.


Thundershock was pretty much the move of the day.


I... uh... what?


Considered dodging this bitch but figured I might as well build levels.


I'm hanging on to a sea Pokemon!


Why do they come to me to die?


I think her first Pokemon was a Staryu and it actually managed to damage me


So I brought in SIDEKICK to finish up.


Lemonaaaaaade


Okay um how about you get away from me you creep


Really, you know how it goes by now


Didn't expect this, though.


The battle I forgot to screenshot wasn't bad, though.


Aaaaand I don't think we need to play this scene again.


You sure did.


This happened. Lost two poke balls before I said fuck it and made that fucker die.


What


Nope


Sonic Boom kind of sucks anyway.


etc


Relevant to my interests.


:hellyeah:


Alright!


I mean LOOK at it


I think we can go there later!


Excuse my lady but your ! is in my face. plz to remove it.


...:pokemon:.


I'll be honest with you, I didn't expect a Psyduck.


It died in a battle I apparently forgot to screenshot. This Goldeen died in a battle I remembered to screenshot.


See?


One day it will be a true triforce. When do Magnemites evolve, anyway?


See those islands that are blocked by whirlpools? There just has to be a secret!

Spoiler for Hidden:

It's Lugia

Ooh, haven't seen that one before


And, uh, oops.


I use a shitload of Lemonade in this update!


Oh ow ow ow


Justice is eventually served
What's the secret to your strength?
Megadik


Cute.


And, obviously, futile. Also oh look I'm running out of Thundershock.


Rather than using an Ether, I switch in SIDEKICK to the front line. Its tale will be chronicled in the next post!

...WHIRL ISLANDS?
No, not really


Okay, that got a little awkward.


Stomp hurts.


Oh, hey, nice timing.


Okay, let's just forget Leer because it's a stupid move and-


OH WHAT THE FUCK NO I DID NOT PUSH THAT OH GOD


I really, really didn't mean to do that. Well, we have Stomp now, but due to me hitting a button once too much, we lost Bubble in the process. Goddamn.


Then I find someone!


Someone special! Hi, Wendy!


Let's put that newly learned thing to use.


I'll admit, 40 static damage is pretty bad when you only have 48 HP


Both her Horseas were stomped and vicegripped to death, and they all lived happily ever after


Alright, I think this is where we were going!


Needed this!


CIANWOOD CITY PHARMACY
We Await Your Medecinal Queries
Okay, this looks like a place where we want to go.


Yeah it's not MY Pokemon I'm here about
The LIGHTHOUSE Pokemon is in trouble? I got it! This ought to do the trick.


But is it a secret from everybody?


I only offer it in an emergency.
Well, good thing this is one!


Sure did ma'am
That must have been hard. It would be much easier if your Pokemon knew how to fly... But you can't use FLY without this city's GYM BADGE. If you beat the GYM LEADER here, come see me. I'll have a nice gift for you.


CHALLENGE ACCEPTED


Challenge temporarily reconsidered for regrouping


A rock-type in a fighting gym wouldn't be that hot so I brought out a poison-type instead!



And swiftly forget to bring it out front before heading to battle


SIDEKICK got some kicks.


So does CTHULHU!


Things were tried


Then I did this and it was my best idea ever


Advancement!


And oh yeah it was Yoshi! That's two POSers in one update!


Then this guy sneaks up on me before I have a chance to heal and oh god


Oops


Maybe I can paralyze this fucker


:iceburn:?


I return the favour of a status effect.


Oops



Well.


...that happened. Also :emo:


Not really.


Pit stop!


Regroup!


Let your fists do the Mario!


lol, your name is noob


Fun fact: When I started playing today I didn't know that Confusion was actually a move that did damage


Bonk


Well, that happened.


I hoped what happened to the Hitmonchan would repeat.


It didn't.


BRING IT, MOTHERFUCKER


Blow for blow


Not that the confusion did much good for me!


Okay! It's on the ropes!

...and then Akuma flinched


To play it safe I switched in this dude


Machoke died

The end

Of this post, continuing in next!

(16:20:53) (@KennyMan666) ...the Pokemon I stashed was our Strength Pokemon wasn't it


Well!


You didn't do much good for this gym!

Checked BULLWINKLE and... no Strength on him. Did we seriously never teach any Pokemon Strength?


Did this because ROCKY only had three moves and I couldn't be arsed to figure out what move to replace on anyone else


There we go!


He probably said something.


Lung.

That's not a name, that's a body part.


He hit twice. Then he used it again the next turn.


Ow.


Switch on both sides!


Something like that.


Okay, I think it's time to bring back our hard hitter here


That's what I'm talking about.


Oh boy!


Went back to heal, bring back this guy and also get ODDISH back out because reasons


Could do this, too.


Let's DO this.


So you've come this far! Let me tell you, I'm tough! My Pokemon will crush stones and shatter bones! Watch this!


fucking incredible


What? It has nothing to do with Pokemon? That's true! Come on. We shall do battle!
Damn right we will


The ultimate battle is about to begin


I think that's all that needs to be said about Primeape.


Alright, this is why I brought out ODDISH.


I figured, even underleveled a bit, type weakness, right? And Razor Leaf is a great grass move.


Had this not happened this would have been more sad than it actually became


...well


I'll be the first to admit that wasn't my best idea.


Fun fact: Dynamicpunch fucking hurts badly


Prepare to pull this one out


And CTHULHU lives to get some EXP, too!

 
Let's rock.


Hahaha!


Oh, you fucker.


Poliwrath makes questionable tactical decisions.


Blows were traded


Pokemon were hypnotized


HPs were about even


I think I used 10 lemonades in my playing session lol


Anyway.


Game, set, match!


How about that! You're worthy of STORMBADGE!


get! Pokemon up to L70 will obey and we can fly outside of battle. Or we could if we had fly!


Also TM01.


Hmm...


Sure is, ma'am.
Then you should take this HM. Teach FLY to your Pokemon. You will be able to FLY instantly to anywhere you have visited. My husband lost to you, so he needs to train harder. That's good, since he was getting a little chubby.
Okay, we have HM02, FLY now! I didn't teach it to anyone yet!


Healed up my duders


Well, that's that for today!

Tenda Scrow it's time for you to live up to your family name and face FULL :pokemon: CONSEQUENCES

(18:26:41) (Tenda) oh I didn't want to take another turn right now
(18:26:45) (Tenda) I'm too busy