Chapter 5 - The God Eaters (Post 4 of 4)

The Goatse Eaters

It's fightin' time. Let's do this.

This line is always appropriate.

Pro strat: hide behind Kogoro

For some reason, the game likes to put Akira and Pai near the treasure chests, so they're usually the ones I send to get them. Maybe there'll be a good joke to make about this sometime...

Here are the weapons everyone was talking about.

The sword gets bigger and purpler sometimes.

Alisa's gun turns into a beast-looking thing. The kind of thing that could Eat a God, perhaps.

And Vashryon just jumps around shooting his guns.

I guess Soma has a weapon that can Eat Gods as well. I bet these weapons of theirs make for some exciting games of Hungry Hungry Hippos.


It's fun time now. I'm sorry, everyone... I'm so sorry...

Yes you fucking are. You're jumping while upside-down. You are definitely messing around right now.

At this point the monster's been dead for a while and I'm just getting more hits in to grind XP (Cross Points) so I can use specials more easily later on.

Nope, guess not.
You didn't think we were only fighting four monsters, did you?
Also, I guess all the cones and barricades were placeholders for the enemies that would teleport in this turn. They'll probably be using this technique again later...
Vajra! This is bad.
Huh? Hang on. How we got monsters from Basel joining in. Which means this hole connects back home! I better hurry.
Stand firm! We need to hold our ground here!You didn't think we could just run away from all this, did you?
Anyway, let's see what we're dealing with now.

We got this thirty-four-thousand-HP-havin' ass motherfucker...


We got a few Ogretails and Fallen Ogretails...

We got Dolled-Up Dwellests...

We got Blood Doll Chainsaws...

And we got this treasure-ass bitch over here.

Can you guess what Kogoro said?

Mhm, yep. Dressed for success.

Here's one of the shittier screenshots that comes from me lazily pressing the screenshot button at random during battles. Are those banana peels?

bitch

Isn't Akira already wearing one of those?

Exactly that strong! No stronger!



Frank, use quick attack!

Most of these dudes are just gathering around Soma in the middle.

Reiji, the Party Starter
This probably took less time than doing a separate battle to get rid of that last 147 HP.

Time to use a few items while Kogoro just tanks all the hits from these dudes.

And we'll be getting plenty of companions on this journey!

Soma, the enemy's over there...
Vajra's steppin' up to take out the trash.

Vajra's not givin' a fuuuuuuuck.

Wait, scratch that!

Morrigan's out for a nibble of that Vaj.

Vajra's getting taken to The Cross Zone.
Here comes the SLAM!

Stun effects are handy because they keep the boss from blocking as the battle begins. Definitely something to keep in mind to make these HP meters go down a little faster!

These animations just look so silly with these giant enemies.

Knock this clown outta the park.




poof

I still have to kill the mimic before the battle ends. I forget if this applies to other regular enemies... I think I killed them all in this chapter anyway.

The battle's over. Back to dialogue!
You actually expect us to believe that?As if it's somehow less believable than anything else that just happened.
I understand how you feel, but the truth is the truth.
Besides, you just told us that the world's going to pretty much end in 60 years.Well shit, I'd better finish playing this game before the world ends!
I guess we've both got a lot of reluctance to accept the truth here, huh?
I've never seen a city in such a completely undamaged state before.
Dang. Guess a hell of a lot's gonna happen a few decades from now.Ask them about flying cars!!!!!!!
If that's true, then that means I've gone back in time a few thousand years.
Yeah, I'm basically from year a fuckin' million A.D.
If that's a joke, then it's pretty damn unfunny.
Basel, a world just barely enduring through a giant environment control system.
I've never heard of it, Miss Tron.I wonder how many Servbots actually do know stuff Tron doesn't know?
Maybe it's best if we think of these as two parallel futures.And they both suck! Hooray!
These rifts are connecting different eras together. It's not that uncommon.
I see it all the time working for Shinra.
Yeah. The reality we live in isn't necessarily linked up with your futures.Well, it wasn't, until that big hole happened...
This all seems so needlessly complicated.I'm sure the game will clear it up soon enough...
We got no time for this. Alisa, let's go.
W-Wait! Soma!
No! We're out of here! This place sucks!
Umm, thanks a lot for your help, everyone!
You think you can get back?
Yeah, back the way we came from. Those monsters were from our worlds, too. Besides, I need to get back to where I'm supposed to be, you know? Though, judging by the ratio of hotties here, maybe I oughtta stick around...

If only he was actually a hit with the hotties...
That sound effect.
As I said, never a dull moment. Now, what's our next move?
I'm jumping in! I smell a hot scoop in there.Jumpin' in the big hole for that hot scoop.
Wait, Frank. We've got other places we need to go right now.Really? Like where? Oh right, Kogoro's office or whatever.
This hole, though... Don't you think we should seal it up or something?We should have crammed Vajra in there to plug it up.

Mii's hole senses are tingling!
What is it, m'lady?
I-I think the power here is growing.
Oh? I don't feel--Reiji, did you even pass the hole exam?
Eventually the game just decides it's had it with all the blabbering.


Too bad we have more blabbering to listen to over here!

Just some good, honest getting sucked into holes.

poof
Curious, isn't it? Just jumping right in, no hesitation whatsoever. That takes care of one thorn in our side. But that girl went with them, didn't she? That's a blow for our plans.Parents, always supervise your children when they're playing around giant holes.
Due Flabellum. One of the leaders of Oros Phlox, right?Due Flabellum. That's a name.
One and the same. Tell me, what do you think of our technology?
......
It sucks. Get it???
Unsatisfied, perhaps? It's still in the experimental stage, of course. I can't say where they were taken to, but we can always follow them.Driver! Follow that group of buffoons!

The chapter ends with an evil smile and a fade to black.