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Chapter 4 - Arisu In Wonderland (Post 1 of 4)





WELCOME TO TWINKLE PARK




you n' me both, sista'

I was hoping to finish things before any distractions came along.
i assume she means 'three sequels came along' because I'm not entirely convinced she's accomplished anything in that time span

Nothing's ever that easy, though, is it.
Except you



and entering from stage left: Nerds




Where Are We: The Video Game

We went right back through the door, and now we're in Shibuya?! This is crazy!
They really did find a way to one-up their Soul Edge Shenanigans from the first game, huh? Just make a stone whose whole purpose is random teleportation!!

Oh, the guys from Roppongi? What brings you here?
Who's she? Nobody good, judging by the monsters she's got with her.
Judging by her... everything.

You're Saya. Agent for Ouma.
still a better organization to be a part of than the Ouya

Well, well, the detective from Interpol? Same as always, I see.
Can you sincerely believe someone wanted sequels to a game where all of the annoying banter dialogue was replaced with "oh, yeah, i know you"

Shibuya's been closed off to the public! What are you doing here?
Ouma? Closed off? So, what, I'm not in Armstone City any longer?
Armstone City, Kansas, I assume

I think we could all use a little explaining, Kogoro.
No problem! Let the all-knowing Kogoro lay it all out for you. Shibuya is laden with monsters and dimensional rifts. Once it got too far out of control, they closed off the entire neighborhood. That's why they call it a "closed city" nowadays
Once Saya moved in, this neighborhood went straight to hell!

Ouma is a group that's fomented chaos worldwide for many, many years. Most of its members are supernatural creatures of one sort or another. I'm a werefox, myself.
There is something bafflingly off about this woman providing helpful exposition to her rivaling party.



I... ...yes?

Nice to have an Ouma agent in the flesh to give the story, I guess.
Thanks, crazy nympho murderer lady!

So this town's gone rotten, and they just put a big lid on top of it?
then they stuck a big "FINISHED" sticker on the lid and shipped it to several game stores in Japan, thus, giving us Namco X Capcom

Yeah, and now Ouma's messing around in here. What're you doing, anyway?
Now now, can't kiss and tell.
In a hurry? You're up to something.
She's in a never-ending battle to remain relevant as a character, and it's just not going well.

I am. I wish I could relax a bit, but I can't. I keep running into little snags, such as you guys.
thats racist

Now that you've seen me, I can't let you go alive. So sorry!
no seriously you are not capable of being threatening, you have royally fucked that up throughout an entire game, it's too late. you're done.




Empty Threats: The Video Game

...Mind if I take a pic?
jfc frank



yknow despite being the meme-hating fuck that I am, I would instantly forgive this game if he followed up this photograph with "I've covered whores, y'know"







Don't even think about pointing that thing my way, buster.
c'mon, now, he could use the HORROR bonus points!

Right then... Let's get this settled. I wouldn't want anyone else to get wind of me while I'm here.
Yeah, can't get your ass kicked TOO hard, that would be bad.

Chapter 4 - Arisu In Wonderland (Post 2 of 4)



NO, MORE, BOUNDRIES




Seriously, though... Chun-Li and Morrigan?




I, Kogoro, declare this city open to the public!





I don't condone leveling up in my house, little lady!





You need a Special Gel before dealing with the likes of Saya.




It's not fair, how can Bahn actually remain cool when being written by this group, I mean, really











Hey, look, it's the villain's goons who were more threatening than the villain!




SHE'S A REAL BEAUT', THIS ONE




NO

Oh yeah.
OH NO

Shall we give 'em the business?
NONONONONO

Hmm... I don't want to blow my cover just yet.
Lady, all you're good at is blowin' things, and I mean that in every possible way.




aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

H-Huh?! Who's that?!
Sigh.
Nnngh! Where are you?! Show me where you are!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I'd guess somewhere up high. That's usually how intros like these work.
Up high...? Ahh!
aaaaauuuuuuuuuuu








uuuuuuuugggghhhh its them

The white-haired bastard!
That's racist. Also it's weird that you would see someone with half-and-half hair color and you just choose to identify him by only one half of it.

And that meddling fox girl, too!
You pesky kids, and your meddling fox girl!




Well, hey, now she looks less like a wacky, big-eyed moron. Though she is 50% more of a haircut apocolypse.

Reiji Arisu, and Xiaomu! Saya, this is bad news.
Gotta be formal with the full names when confronted by your arch-enemy! Also, I don't know, your odds aren't that skewed yet, they still don't have KOS-MOS with them!

I had a feeling something like this was gonna happen.
Where ever there is trouble, surely there will be chatty nerds in entirely Red+Yellow+White+Black color schemes following swiftly behind it!




NO ROADBLOCK IS SAFE

Agents from Shinra, eh? That saves us some time, but are they real?
shinra agents: what are their motives

I'm a bit suspicious... especially of banana head over there,
no no, she's clearly a collection of dead pokemon fur, i will accept nothing else

"Fox girl"? Really? What kinda statement are you trying to make?
Mii really doesn't "get" the whole fox-people thing, apparently.

Sigh.

I had a feeling something like this was gonna happen.

"fucken, what do ppl do when they hate each othr again? fucck it i dont care w.e"

You entered the picture pretty quick this time, didn't you, boy?
Don't call me "Boy."
I'M A GROWN-UP, GOSH
Hmm, a martial artist, a journalist, a zombie, a demoness, a high-schooler...
This reminds me of a joke I thought up once, would you like to hear it!?
And not just civilians, either. I see a few familiar faces here.
Perfect. No need for long intros, then.
And yet, 9 whole chapters in...

I'm worried, though. I have a feeling this is gonna be one long ride.
If their dialogue was not literally copy/pasted from NxC, I'm going to be legitimately surprised.




Y...yeah, sure, why not...

Chapter 4 - Arisu In Wonderland (Post 3 of 4)



Y'know, ignoring the fact that they were just teleported here, I'm not convinced they couldn't have just, like... walked.

Long story short, we went from Roppongi to Colorado and back to Shibuya.
"And it didn't cost a dime! Portalstone is the best for vacations!"




Rifts, eh? I can believe it. A lot of worlds are connected across dimensions.
But at this point, what shouldn't I believe?
Morrigan from Makai, Tron from the future... I probably should've guessed.
You know about this?
Well, I've had to deal with something like this before.
There was a lot less "touch screen" the first time, though.
Some of our friends have gone missing, too. I think we've got real trouble here.
Glad to see we've got an expert on the subject, at least.
The only thing that she's an expert on is being a fuzzy catastrophe

We'll find those missing friends in a flash now!
Shinra. The Japanese special-agent group? Man, this scoop just gets better!
It's a crisis, Frank, not a career opportunity!
Thaaat's our Frank!

Well, before anything else, we're gonna have to wrap things up here.



I'm just flat-out convinced that line was given to the wrong character here.

Sigh. No time to enjoy the shops in Shibuya, I guess.
See, that fits MUCH better!

We're gonna have to take care of this lady gangster first!
That's it. I want art of Saya with a bowler hat and a twirly mustache. I want it.




ROOOUND 2!




i cannot handle this




i sincerely doubt that




Yes, but will you take the first napkin?




every time

every time you open your mouth






C'mon, now, the Frank I know woulda used those as weapons! Stop wastin' all your materials here!




Guys, look at how much shit we can have going on in one screenshot!! 7 whole characters in one fight!! Wowie zowie!! So much combating!!




also look at these fucking nerds being impressive, where the hell did they get the bright idea to start actin' this way?




you're a "fuck them bitches an hos" kinda person, I can tell





RING OUT!




Tha's what I'm sayin'! "Hang in there, me!"




She got that look in her eye. The one where she has something in her eye, and it like, mildly burns.


Oof! Not too shabby for my return battle, I suppose.
Eeeh, that's a 5 out of 10 for that performance, buddy.

Mistress Saya! I've completed the preparations. I'm going on ahead.
And I'm sure our crew will just let you, given that you aren't Saya, therefore cannot possibly be threatening.




HOLD ON TO THAT FEEEELIII~A~A~AN




omfg
wiggity wow lookit 'im go





Not Pictured: Like, way too many fighting screencaps

Chapter 4 - Arisu In Wonderland (Post 4 of 4)

And it's still not over!




Soap went out of his way to make this. So... uh, here it is.




I have mixed feelings about it.





i been a bad shinra agent





because its apparently all the artist really cares to do




put a fucking bullet in my mouth


Well, we are all ready and waiting. Looks like this is gonna be another long fight between us, boy.
Fine by me. I know what I have to do, and that's never gonna change.
You got it! And we're gonna work a lot quicker this time around!
yeah about that

Hee hee, ciao. -disapporates-
Whew, is it over?
If only, babe, if only.

Hee hee, with you guys, there's never a dull moment, is there?
hee hee

You might be enjoying this, Morrigan, but me, I'm exhausted.
and I'M IMPORTANT

At least I accomplished what I needed to. Getting into contact with Shinra so quickly was a real stroke of luck.
You mean it wasn't part of your Tenzai Ninjutsu skill? I'm shocked.

With us?
Of all the rifts, in all the demon-filled towns, in all the world, they get randomly teleported into mine.




I wonder why they call it that, anyway?




But pretty much anything that isn't wasteful doesn't sound good to me




Oh, shorter post than I thought! Oh well! I know you were dying for more text dump, but I'm afraid that'll have to wait until the next update!

Not Pictured: Like, way too many fighting screencaps

Glad you found there were too many rather than too few! Good work using the random shit I gave you, by the way, like the one of Reiji just standing alone in the southeast corner of the map and all the ones of people breaking shit.

Chapter 5 - The God Eaters (Post 1 of 4)



In someone's evil lair...



Hey, a new villain! Does that mean the plot might advance soon? The last plot-important thing that happened (besides a bunch of fountain accidents) was the portalstone being stolen, and that happened before the game started!



So she's the boss of these clowns.



Should have grabbed the Duracellstone or the Energizerstone! Or maybe even a Thunderstone!

If you ask me, I think it'd be quicker if we just kidnapped her.

But then you have to kidnap Kogoro, too! It's a package deal. That's how characters work in this game.



That sure is a fashionable caboose, but I bet that yellow button back there makes sitting down a little annoying and/or painful.

Doesn't look like they've gone anywhere else yet, no.
Well, perfect. Then I can go greet them personally. I can carry out that "experiment" while I'm there, too.

I hope she's "experimenting" with some great dialogue ideas!



********fade 2 black*****



Meanwhile, at DweebCon 2015...

So ever since that treasure was stolen from the Koryuji mansion, these rifts have opened up worldwide, linking together different times and places.

So how does the portalstone work, exactly? Do you just flip a switch on the back of it and it turns on all the fountains, or do you have to drop it in each fountain individually to grant them magical teleportation powers? If I flushed the portalstone down the toilet and took a shit, could I get the poop to pop out of a fountain on a cruise ship somewhere?

Hence, why we've got this ragtag gang of folks from across space and time, huh? And our investigator friend... Karabera? Mani Karabera? Or wait, is that Spanish?

...¿Qué?

Kogoro. Kogoro Tenzai. It's been one strange trip so far, lemme tell ya.
I don't know if you can even call completely random time travel a "trip"...

It's more of a "bizarre adventure" if you ask me.

Besides, it always happens instantaneously. How are you supposed to enjoy that?

Yeah, let's relax and enjoy our journey. Just sit back and enjoy the dialogue and the inane storyline!



I should have grabbed a few tapes from Movieland while I was there! Stupid, stupid, stupid!

That town was trashed the last I saw it. No way it's been fixed up like how it was.

The original town fell in a fountain and all the zombies washed right off.



Well, there was nobody on it until PXZ waved its magic wand and conjured a few characters to liven the place up.

So you think these worlds we're traveling through might be fake, maybe?
If so, that's certainly different from last time.

Imagine if this game turns out to be 46 (IIRC) chapters to save a fake world.

A pain in the ass, that's what it is. So, what's our next move?

Bahn stepping up as audience surrogate with that one.

We shouldn't stay in this closed-off area. Let's get moving.
She's right. Let's go back to our HQ in Roppongi.
Hopefully, we can piece together a plan there.



Back to Splitsville to formulate a plan.

Chapter 5 - The God Eaters (Post 2 of 4)



A group of strangers lands in the Field of Cones.



The traffic barrier party just ended, and nobody volunteered to clean up!

Alisa! Lindow! What's happening to us?
Everyone still in one piece? I have no idea what I'm doing here. I was just going to the Seminary, and then...
All I know is, I was going into the ruined church, and now I'm suddenly here!

The Church of Hole



Lindow 7
Build 80085
This copy of Lindow is not genuine

What?! Wh-who are you?
Hey, don't get so testy. My name's Vashyron. I'm a Hunter.
A Hunter? I haven't heard of you before. What group are you with?

I like how he said "Hunter" with a capital "H" and Soma seems to have known he meant something other than the regular definition of "hunter".

I don't think he's a God Eater, at any rate.

Probably a good guess. I don't think most people are God Eaters.

A Gods Eater? Well, judging by those weapons you're lugging around, neither of you are exactly normal either, are you?

They're not visible from the map, but trust me, they're carrying weapons!

By the way, apparently the game is actually localized as "Gods Eater". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gods_Eater_Burst Strange that we'd get the more Engrishy option.



Fade to black while they presumably talk about their hole stories.

The Tower of Basel? Where is that?
Giant world-consuming monsters called Aragami, eh? Can't say they ring a bell.

PXZ brings us back with a few vocabulary words to look up in the Crosspedia later.



Well, you have PXZ in common now!

Like you're from another world.
I guess that giant hole's taken us into some kind of unknown realm.
In that case, we better go back where we--

Alright, Vashyron, you go stand by the wall, and Alisa and I will climb on your back and retreat back into the giant hole. Got it?



Should have closed that giant hole instead of talking about a bunch of nonsense!

No! Aragami?!
Oh, these are your Aragami, eh? Guess that hole links up to your world.

Guess that means no Towers of Basel will be coming out of the giant hole.

Then let's go back, now! Alisa, I'm taking point!
Wait! You want me on offense or backup?
Alisa goes both ways. Good to know.
...I'm not sure I follow you.

Well, you see, there's a thing called "bisexual" where people are cool with either offense or backup and it's really hot when girls do it but it's not as hot when guys do it because I'm not gay!!!!!!



He strikes a pose while he says this.



How dare you! These are my professional God Eating clothes, I'll have you know.



Vashyron's looking to make some more hole stories.

Good luck, you two crazy kids!
Yeah, thanks for distracting me. Alisa, let's team up. Vashyron can provide backup.

Just the way I like it!

No telling how this could turn out. Don't try anything brash. Just worry about not getting yourself killed for now.
Ah, well said, Soma. That's the attitude you need to excel in battle.
Hee hee! They should really promote you to captain sooner or later.

How about rear admiral?

Clam it. Concentrate on the enemy.
Ah, young soldiers! Let's get going.



Maybe they fell into a different hole?



They fuse together and ready themselves for battle.

Chapter 5 - The God Eaters (Post 3 of 4)



It's time for some Big Damn Heroes.



I knew a hole would open in this wall right here! I knew it!



I can't help but read this with a slightly condescending tone. Like Morrigan's only acting surprised or something.



The camera zooms out for a look at The Situation.

No way! How did I not notice a rift as gigantic as this?!
I'm impressed, Mii.
Hee hee! Call it a woman's intuition.

Guess I know who to call if I need to know if any new holes have opened around town!



(How is my Tenzai Ninjutsu gonna compete with this? I've gotta step my game up!)



The Shinra job interview ends with a hole exam, where the interviewer asks you whether any giant holes have opened up in town and if so, where.

I suppose those weird monsters must've jumped out of that hole, huh?
That ain't all, either. Coupla people, too.
What? That's crazy! This place is supposed to be sealed off!

There's no way anyone got past all the traffic cones and barricades I left all over the place! There's just no way!

Geh. Hey! Keep away! These guys're dangerous!
We can't let innocent people get hurt here!
You guys look like the "innocent people" to us!
I don't know. If they were, would they have those enormous weapons on 'em?

Another mention of the weapons we're still a few screenshots away from seeing.

Let's help them out. They might know something about this big hole.

They have Vashyron the Hole Jockey with them, so I'm sure they'll be of some help!

Guess you're all kinda like us, huh? ...... Well, I'm Vashyron. Pleased to meetcha. The blue guy's Soma, the hot chick's Alisa. They're Gods Eaters.
GOD Eaters. Why does everyone always do that?

I wonder if this is actually something that happens in their game, or if it's a legitimate joke about the localized title, or something.

Whoa, settle down, grumpylumps! You're gonna scare away these nice folks.

Grumpylumps... that's a good word. I like it.



Frank's got the camera out, but nothing comes of it this time.

What do you think, Soma? They seem nice enough.
There aren't too many Aragami. Let's get this over with. Besides, that's our job.

Time to Eat some Gods! Dinner's served, everyone!

Chapter 5 - The God Eaters (Post 4 of 4)



The Goatse Eaters



It's fightin' time. Let's do this.



This line is always appropriate.



Pro strat: hide behind Kogoro



For some reason, the game likes to put Akira and Pai near the treasure chests, so they're usually the ones I send to get them. Maybe there'll be a good joke to make about this sometime...



Here are the weapons everyone was talking about.



The sword gets bigger and purpler sometimes.



Alisa's gun turns into a beast-looking thing. The kind of thing that could Eat a God, perhaps.



And Vashryon just jumps around shooting his guns.



I guess Soma has a weapon that can Eat Gods as well. I bet these weapons of theirs make for some exciting games of Hungry Hungry Hippos.



It's fun time now. I'm sorry, everyone... I'm so sorry...



Yes you fucking are. You're jumping while upside-down. You are definitely messing around right now.



At this point the monster's been dead for a while and I'm just getting more hits in to grind XP (Cross Points) so I can use specials more easily later on.



Nope, guess not.



You didn't think we were only fighting four monsters, did you?

Also, I guess all the cones and barricades were placeholders for the enemies that would teleport in this turn. They'll probably be using this technique again later...

Vajra! This is bad.
Huh? Hang on. How we got monsters from Basel joining in. Which means this hole connects back home! I better hurry.
Stand firm! We need to hold our ground here!

You didn't think we could just run away from all this, did you?

Anyway, let's see what we're dealing with now.



We got this thirty-four-thousand-HP-havin' ass motherfucker...



We got a few Ogretails and Fallen Ogretails...



We got Dolled-Up Dwellests...



We got Blood Doll Chainsaws...



And we got this treasure-ass bitch over here.



Can you guess what Kogoro said?



Mhm, yep. Dressed for success.



Here's one of the shittier screenshots that comes from me lazily pressing the screenshot button at random during battles. Are those banana peels?



bitch



Isn't Akira already wearing one of those?



Exactly that strong! No stronger!







Frank, use quick attack!



Most of these dudes are just gathering around Soma in the middle.



Reiji, the Party Starter



This probably took less time than doing a separate battle to get rid of that last 147 HP.



Time to use a few items while Kogoro just tanks all the hits from these dudes.



And we'll be getting plenty of companions on this journey!



Soma, the enemy's over there...



Vajra's steppin' up to take out the trash.



Vajra's not givin' a fuuuuuuuck.



Wait, scratch that!



Morrigan's out for a nibble of that Vaj.



Vajra's getting taken to The Cross Zone.



Here comes the SLAM!



Stun effects are handy because they keep the boss from blocking as the battle begins. Definitely something to keep in mind to make these HP meters go down a little faster!



These animations just look so silly with these giant enemies.



Knock this clown outta the park.







poof



I still have to kill the mimic before the battle ends. I forget if this applies to other regular enemies... I think I killed them all in this chapter anyway.



The battle's over. Back to dialogue!

You actually expect us to believe that?

As if it's somehow less believable than anything else that just happened.

I understand how you feel, but the truth is the truth.
Besides, you just told us that the world's going to pretty much end in 60 years.

Well shit, I'd better finish playing this game before the world ends!

I guess we've both got a lot of reluctance to accept the truth here, huh?
I've never seen a city in such a completely undamaged state before.
Dang. Guess a hell of a lot's gonna happen a few decades from now.

Ask them about flying cars!!!!!!!

If that's true, then that means I've gone back in time a few thousand years.

Yeah, I'm basically from year a fuckin' million A.D.

If that's a joke, then it's pretty damn unfunny.
Basel, a world just barely enduring through a giant environment control system.
I've never heard of it, Miss Tron.

I wonder how many Servbots actually do know stuff Tron doesn't know?

Maybe it's best if we think of these as two parallel futures.

And they both suck! Hooray!

These rifts are connecting different eras together. It's not that uncommon.

I see it all the time working for Shinra.

Yeah. The reality we live in isn't necessarily linked up with your futures.

Well, it wasn't, until that big hole happened...

This all seems so needlessly complicated.

I'm sure the game will clear it up soon enough...

We got no time for this. Alisa, let's go.
W-Wait! Soma!

No! We're out of here! This place sucks!

Umm, thanks a lot for your help, everyone!
You think you can get back?
Yeah, back the way we came from. Those monsters were from our worlds, too. Besides, I need to get back to where I'm supposed to be, you know? Though, judging by the ratio of hotties here, maybe I oughtta stick around...



If only he was actually a hit with the hotties...



That sound effect.

As I said, never a dull moment. Now, what's our next move?
I'm jumping in! I smell a hot scoop in there.

Jumpin' in the big hole for that hot scoop.

Wait, Frank. We've got other places we need to go right now.

Really? Like where? Oh right, Kogoro's office or whatever.

This hole, though... Don't you think we should seal it up or something?

We should have crammed Vajra in there to plug it up.



Mii's hole senses are tingling!

What is it, m'lady?
I-I think the power here is growing.
Oh? I don't feel--

Reiji, did you even pass the hole exam?



Eventually the game just decides it's had it with all the blabbering.



Too bad we have more blabbering to listen to over here!



Just some good, honest getting sucked into holes.



poof

Curious, isn't it? Just jumping right in, no hesitation whatsoever. That takes care of one thorn in our side. But that girl went with them, didn't she? That's a blow for our plans.

Parents, always supervise your children when they're playing around giant holes.

Due Flabellum. One of the leaders of Oros Phlox, right?

Due Flabellum. That's a name.

One and the same. Tell me, what do you think of our technology?
......

It sucks. Get it???

Unsatisfied, perhaps? It's still in the experimental stage, of course. I can't say where they were taken to, but we can always follow them.

Driver! Follow that group of buffoons!



The chapter ends with an evil smile and a fade to black.

holey shit

Chapter 6 - Justice Among The Skyscrapers (Post 1 of 5)



...did you say her name was "Due Flabellum"?




what the fuck kind of name is that? its like the guy making Skullgirls Pun Names had a fucking stroke




like what the fuck is wr- oh, are you guys talking again?


Pretty nice, though, wasn't it? I mean, that world we were in?
it seems nice until you have the misfortune of meeting most league of legends players




izz'at a typo? think that's a typo. also lighten up you bozo. you should take a vacation to the Party Realm or something





and that makes me pose like THIS

We're still here too, you know
This is 60 years from now? Hah, this sure turned to crap fast.
HA, BUNCHA DUMBASSES, WRECKIN EARTH N SHIT

You?! Why are you here?!
Not like we wanted to be, you know! We were sucked in with you!
soma's not a very good host. no "welcome to my shit realm" or offers to sit down or nothin

Sorry if we scared you. We'll just go back the way we came.
I'm certain it's that easy! There's no possible way I can be stopped in this regard.

I'm not sure we can.
Huh? W-Why not?
Because I don't feel any energy coming out from that hole any longer.
Also just, like, look at it. it's clearly just not a portal anymore.




"my journalism skills have finally paid off"

Couldn't it at least have SAID "one-way portal" ...?
stop. stop being written badly. stop it.

So we're stuck in a future we know absolutely nothing about. What now?
...I dunno. Sports Almanac?




"luckily i keep a picture of it with me just in case i need to invite people to it!"

Fenrir?
yeah, yknow, norse god of the wolves, hes cool

Yeah. The Fenrir Far East Branch. Kind of a front-line base for God Eaters.
It's happy hour, and we're serving Gods at half price!

Man, this is kind of a roundabout route to Shinra HQ we're taking, isn't it?
... no?

Well, we have no choice. Besides, I could do with a shower and a nap anyway.
And if this were more like Cross Edge, I'm sure we would be forced to physically see all that!




"Y'know, to make sure it's still... ruins."




ive seriously just flat out never heard of this game before. is it a hidden gem, or forgotten for a reason? who cares, we have a much more important piece of video game history to discover!

Is this Lindow a friend of yours?
No, Morrigan, no, he's not. He's just some fuck.
Yeah. We got seperated in the church. He's always making trouble for me.
Let's just hope he didn't get shot into Basel or anything.
Oh, man, let's not even talk about getting shot into Basel. Not after the last time. I'm still reeling from that experience.

Chapter 6 - Justice Among The Skyscrapers (Post 2 of 5)



I reiterate, holey shit




...it's being swarmed by paper crafts?




and monsters made of herbs? Man, the future sounds pretty damn lame.

There must be something around here connecting Vashyron's world to ours.
no its just a REALLY big coincidence

Well, no way to find out unless we go in
just run in dick-first and see what comes of it!




at this point why even show this screen




so here's some bullshit




that is a terrifying blind topless woman with a shrimp body, a giant snail shell with an eyeball, and wings for arms




Wide Open Spaces




shit that i assume soap is going to break




and shit that i assume soap is going to break




is that some sort of of euphemism
yea, cuz we gon FUCK some bitches




seriously look at this horrifying monstrousity

also that snail lady is weird too






one dead monster later and




in the name of God-Eaters and all that is holey, what in the everloving fuck is that thing

Where have I hoped into now? What a dirty, dusty little briar patch!
in all seriousness... what the fuck?




a comeback from awful fashion, i hope

And the prelude to that is just about ready to kick off! But before then, I see some folks who need slicing and dicing.
I have never wanted so badly for a character in PXZ to ask someone who the fuck they are because ???

A scissor-bunny, OK. Because everything so far was too normal, right?
Scissors??? what are you gleaming that from??? how do you ALREADY know more about this than me???




Gasp!





(im sure i could get soap to make movie sequences so you could actually tell where everything is in relation to each other but... honestly)





yeah, thats it, this is officially the bad future, marty mcfly has REALLY fucked up this time





i'm so sorry to hear that

And your little show's coming to an end right here, right now!
Usaaaah! You ladies are joining together now, eh?
Paris, New York, they're virtually next-door to each other, might as well

Well, I swear by my beady red eyes that you humans won't get the best of me!
oh is he a rabbit? i couldnt tell

Come to me at once, my Prelude steam-beast!
Excuse me?




"HELLO IM HERE"




omg
i know right




IT'S TIME FOR ME TO KILL, AND IT'S TIME FOR ME TO DIE

Chapter 6 - Justice Among The Skyscrapers (Post 3 of 5)

A robot that runs on steam energy? There's a pretty rare sight.
someone clearly missed out on the Nerds Love Steampunk era

That rabbit an Aragami, too? Didn't realize they came in such variety.
...Ugh. No.
how DARE you besmirch the name of Aragami!?
You guys stay back! It's too dangerous for y'all!
Y'all let New York take care'a this bandit, ya'hear?

Just leave this to us!
Oh, are these girls Gods Eaters, too?
Um, maybe? I'm not sure. Yes! We'll go with yes.
lady you look way too skinny to have eaten a god before

R-Really? Soma, look! Other God Eaters!
...Ugh. No.
Y'know if I were in this game I think repeating "ugh. no." wouldn't exactly be a bad route to take

Well, they look safe enough. Who are you, anyway?
I'm not convinced Morrigan has had an in-character line for several chapters in a row now. C'mon now, guys, you can't give Saya all the forced innuendos!

That bunny said something about a "combat revue".
Yes! I'm Erica Fontaine, with the Flower Division of the Paris Combat Revue.
And I'm just so sure that means something to someone.

And I'm Gemini, from New York. Nice to meet y'all!
"y'know, like deep south New York"

Paris and New York?
I suppose you're from the same world as we are, in that case.
Oh, well, that's a relief! I honestly have no idea where we are.
well, then we're all up to speed then. no one knows fucking anything.




The Official Hand Gesture of the Sign Language Division of the Combat Revue, I assume

You think these ladies are from another time in history, too?
You wouldn't mind if I asked you a few questions, would you?
Because we are just STARVED for ways to kill time right now, I tell ya

A-HEM! I feel I should remind you that my Prelude is about to kill you all!
Dude, not now, there's an urban cowgirl over here and it's driving me totally crazy
In fact, it'll pounce upon all of you like me and my morning salad!
...your robot jumps ontop of you while you eat salad? Is that some sort of kink?




Pictured: Bahn is still great

A horrifying beast-man, threatening peace across the city of Paris! I thought we had taught him his lesson once before. Apparently not!
So many words that all seem to say the same thing: "He the villain"

Ugh, Aragami are bad enough without new problems to worry about.
Ugh.
A rabbit-shaped robot, huh? Got some prety mean-looking weapons on it, too.
Yeah. Better watch for its close-range punch and its homing missiles.
I subscribe to Nintendo Power, I know these sorts of things.
Oh, that's not all! Those ear-scissors could cut you right in half, too!
THERE ARE NO VISIBLE EARS, HE'S WEARING A TOP HAT, ARE WE JOKING RIGHT NOW

Sounds like you're familiar with him, eh? Then let's get started already!
Please, I've aged an entire year just writing this post





Ugh.

Chapter 6 - Justice Among The Skyscrapers (Post 4 of 5)




"I mean, just look at me! I am a PROBLEM"




And against all odds, they fight with a sword and machine guns




KILLITKILLITKILLITKILLITKILLITKILLITKILLIT




TOO LATE FOR THAT BUB




I HUNGER





yeah but the skeleton key is the WORST item in mario party i swear





Years of fighting X-Men supervillains have prepared me for this moment!





Could the translation team give it their all? Like, for once?





"It's not... southern-y enough"










well now they've just given up





"You honestly shouldn't talk AT ALL"




"I get paid for every word I tolerate from this furry idiot's maw"




but thats what having a job is like, kiddo, get used to it




now im just not sure what this game is trying to tell me




holy shit, are you still in this game?






YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST




LEMME AT EM I'LL RRRRRIP EM APART









I BROUGHT THE ASS






tsk tsk, late to the party as usual!




its easy when you all you have to do is sit back and watch!




pretty ingenious marketing strategy, promising your soda can do anything





DESTROY! SURRENDER!




hey its those scissor ears everyone was talking about. NOW I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING




Behold their might! Watch as they rip Kogoro RIGHT IN HALF!




Witness his ability to mildly pester people through walls! It is a truly terrifying steam-powered beast!




made possible by LITTLE CEASERS: HOT-N-READY PIZZA




is it sex?  i think its sex
IT MUST BE SACRIFICED









of course im the master of it, who else has even heard of it!?




it has the deadliest combination of fighting styles; enormous bullet spray, and chaotically bouncing around like a loon




i will be your new felicia

Chapter 6 - Justice Among The Skyscrapers (Post 5 of 5)





this has been a long chapter




OK BYE

Hold it, rabbit! C'mon, after him!
We can catch him. He's got nowhere to run in the church.
Yahoo! Time to make the biggest chicken fried rabbit you've ever seen
MURDER HIM AND EAT HIS CORPSE, I AM DONE WITH THIS




B-but... he had nowhere to run!




im battin a thousand right now, go me





your clothing; what, and why?

Like, where did that rabbit and these ladies come from, for starters.
Yeah! So start talkin', samurai girl!
Because so far her most distinguishing feature is her sword.





fade to black \o/




YES OBVIOUSLY

Well...yeah. What did you expect, some kind of fantasy world?
NO HOW SILLY OF ME

I don't think that's the story you'll find in my history textbook...
All I've ever seen are chapters about...me
Plus, the Paris and New York you're describing sure ain't the ones I know.
Well, whadaya want from me? New York's New York, all right?
I think this is a parallel past...one that runs on a different axis from ours.
So how did you make it all the way here, Miss Erica?
Well, Gemini and I stopped by a church so we could offer our prayers.
A church... We're in a church now. Was this in Paris?
Right. When we knelt down, there was this light...and we found ourselves here.
Within the story of Project X Zone. God's most sadistic of punishments.
Sounds kind of like what happened to me.
You were working on a job, you said.
Yeah. I was in the basilica of a seminary.
Where were you when the world got stupid?




"I'm not prepared to suffer through this alone, I'm takin' that fucker with me."

Maybe the opposite happened to him and he got shot out to some other world.
It's safe to make bold assumptions about things that are otherworldly which you have little to no experience with. Which is probably why you're entirely correct.

...Possibly. We just went through that ourselves, after all.
And God only knows where the heck he went, this bein' a church and all.
...do you mean this being a church would have some sort of vague impact on where he would be teleported to, or that, being that this a church, God is actually the only one who knows where he went? I'm just not following here.

...I know! I'll ask God for some help!
...we're really bringing in a religious element into this, huh? Sure, why not, couldn't make this story any worse.





because to be honest i just havent been paying attention to you nerds




Not pictured: flashing, rumbling




God ain't havin' any of this "being a part of PXZ" bullshit!






Man, I really miss Felicia. Or, like, Shion. Remember them? They would say such stupid shit and it was hilarious, intentional or not. Now, there is no humor. Only black holes that suck up all fun. And are lazy plot devices.

See you next post!!!