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From somewhere, a package...


I commend the postlady for not saying the words "Package Funk" out loud when I went to pick this up.


This is a big 'un! Roughly 3 by 12 Rises!!! That is a lot of Rises!!


This is what I saw when I cracked this bad boy open. 10 oats if you can guess which game the yellow instruction manual with the Rareware symbol on it goes to.


The first thing out the box was what appears to be the instructions for a laminating machine? We're off to a great start.


It's all too much for poor Rise.

Next I found out what they used the laminator on!


A CG from Katawa Shoujo with my bird and a ghostly chef AC-DC Krem photoshopped in, signed by the artists. Bidding starts at ten thousand dollars.


Next up we've got the funnies page from a newspaper! Let's check 'em out and get our chuckle on.


Uhhh


That's right. Not a paper from last week, or last month, or even last year. Rick sent me the funny papers from nearly a decade ago


Evidently it was printed back when wheelbarrows were first discovered.


Next up: Some manner of badass dragon toy?


The predator looms over its prey. The prey, in turn, freezes in fear, accepting its morbid fate.

...Wait a minute. Enhance.


ENHANCE


WHY IS THERE A FACE COMING OUT OF HIS TAIL

Upon closer inspection, it turns out this thing is some kind of transformer?


This is the most I could get it to look like a human robot dude though.


"Let's put third, wimpy arm on the back there for good measure"


Recent evidence suggests that the beast may have, at one point, been part vehicle. However, at this point, the remaing wheels are simply vestigial.


Then we've got this badass super huge skull jersey!


Edit: Extremely Badass super huge skull jersey.


Speaking of badasses, this dude suddenly made an appearance.

And it looks like he brought some gear with him!


This is a man who is ready to hit the open road and ruin some small child's day


Looks like he took part of the Rainbow Road with him...


Greenbrier International is an extremely sketchy company without a website that peddles garbage to dollar stores across the world, apparently.


I can FEEL the POWER COURSING through my VEINS


A 3DS lanyard! When I first heard about the 3DS, the 3D seemed like the coolest part, but nowadays I rarely use it! :conwayshrug:


I completely called this.


Greetings From Scenic Plastic Tree Jungle


Munchkin Bookmarks! Not really sure why a card game needs bookmarks though(???)


Whoops! Almost skipped some of this garbage.

Thanks again, Rick.




Time to get my fuckin game ON...


FFIII felt kind of heavy so I cracked it open and discovered a 50+ page instruction booklet. It's not even one of the ones with like 3 different languages, either.


The logo for former dev studio Rockstar Vancouver of Bully and Max Payne 3 fame! And underneath is


a photo taken at lesser known studio Rockstar Detroit of Paper Mario fame


A Logitech install disk from 2002! I don't recognize either of these programs but it looks like Windows 7 wasn't supported or even  existant at the time, so guess I'm SOL here!


A tie! I can only guess who contributed this one. This is actually the first tie I've ever owned because I am a tiny childe

After this there were a bunch of trading cards!


Munchkin cards! Presumably biting commentary from the middle card there, whatever the hell that's referencing.


I don't know what these are but they will haunt my nightmares for the rest of my days, thanks rick


The coach from Beavis and Butthead? And he has a name, apparently?


Wise words from Beavis and the Butthead.

Next out the box is the ______est collection of CDs I've ever seen in one place.


Excerpt: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJ5CbLnSjo0

I was really excited about this one at first but I think I had it confused with the Simpsons Sings the Blues. This one is basically just a clip show in CD format.


Excerpt: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMX2lPum_pg

The CD insert was just a catalog for their merch. I think that's all I need to say about this one


Excerpt: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvUrXrtCiH8

Oh god. Oh man. Oh god. Oh man. Oh God. Oh MAN


Excerpt: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxVUpgWhigM

Wasn't sure what to expect from this one but it's got the Seal of Quality in the corner there so I figured it'd be pretty great. Guess it's more Eminem? Good shit.


Excerpt: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcIN2a5UMCM

Never heard of these guys either! Not very chill for a song about Jah!


Ages 6 to 12, huh? We'll see about THAT


this is why the usps is going bankrupt, thanks a lot fuckers


Good as new(????)


A set of Mystery Keys and a ring?


Turns out it's a mood ring!

Current mood: Green


This was shoved into the bottom of the box.


...And this is what was on the back. Moving right along.


This was the last thing in the box!! Let's czeck it out



:conwayshrugofathousandflames:


the gang's all here


6:59 PM - {---[]☠} Rick: Look at that pimp
6:59 PM - {---[]☠} Rick: the shirt is mine
6:59 PM - {---[]☠} Rick: the tie is becky's
6:59 PM - {---[]☠} Rick: krem gave me the wristband
6:59 PM - {---[]☢} it's scrow funk: your powers combined, i am 
6:59 PM - {---[]☠} Rick: captain duckface

Now wear the leather jacket and have the huge hoops pants this guy is wearing
http://i.imgur.com/roB35YZ.jpg

Speaking of packages I guess I have one to send to Saber huh

Nice Adventure Time bookmark.

it's the tie that really rocks it

hey scrow nice S W A G

Because I enjoy reviving junk heap topics, I'm going to post a pic of the box Anti sent me all those years ago. I kept most of the stuff, but I lost some of the figurines and the Devo CD.

I couldn't find anti's, but I did find Rick's, so I decided to post its current contents.

1. Several video game posters from Nintendo Power magazines. The first one is kinda crappy, and good luck reading that address from the box.



2. More posters, a Far Side calendar from 2005, a battery from my 10 year old Dell laptop, a Batman comic, and some daily calendar pages from March 2005.



3. Two more calendar pages and a large Pikmin poster.



4. A Majora's Mask and PM:TYD posters and the back of Rick's package. :D:D:D



5. Closeup of the back.



6. Closeup of the front. Not that either of us live at these addresses any more, but you no sees.



I have some of the original contents in my miscellaneous drawer, but really the box has become of the most value to me.

Why did Rick paint all over Mario like that?!?!?!?!?!

For real though, Rick really stepped up the PACKAGE game with that box. Plain cardboard is old and busted. Random bullshit cut out and taped and/or glued to the box is the new hotness!

I have no memories of that box.  Must be working around too many fumes lately :dainbramage:

What's funny is I thought at first this was Anti's box, then I flipped it over and saw your name and was all "da fuq?"

I really wish I could remember what all was originally in here. I wonder if I took pictures and saved them on that ancient Epson digital camera I used to have.

A+