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"Good morning, gentlemen!" Pepe looks up from an inventory list and waves at the strange, towering dworfbeasts. "You all seem to be in high spirits." Pepe eyes the bagpipes nervously and continues. "Feel free to leave your, uh, instruments, with us. We'll make sure they're packed safely with the rest of the cargo."

Ruth leans over to Rasputin and whispers, "Is that considered racist? I'm getting that 'this isn't politically correct' vibe right now."

Rasputin turns to Jeb now and frowns a bit at him. In a deadpan tone he states "It is.  It is racist and I am deeply offended"  He then continues tieing everything together on the cart in a complex shipmans knot

"Now hold on there tiny," Phaedra says to Pepe, and turns to the two guests, "Those are some fine looking instruments you have there, surely a couple of merriment loving mountain babi... I mean 'dorfs' such as yourselves wouldn't mind playing a few dwarven folk songs for a fellow music lover, would you? We'll be waiting a while for more guests to show up anyways." Phaedra plasters on a very insistent and terrifying smile while trying to coax the two into performing.

Cha roll: 1d20+6 =16

The Dorfs look at Phaedra, look at each other, and put on wide grins.
"I think goliath lady wants to hear our pipes!" says Lachdanan.
"I think she does, brother!" says MacGruber.
"Yes, we will glad to play the bag of pipes."
"Yes, we have practiced much on pipes this last week-OW!" MacGruber is cut off as Lachdanan steps on his foot. "-I mean, practiced much our whole lives."
"Yes," says Lachdanan, "We have been raised with much traditional Dorfish culture."
"Now, we play the pipes!"
The twins hand their travel sacks to Pepe, who finds the bags to be surprisingly light. To face the carts, they position themselves directly in front of the wooden building that serves as an office for the stables. They then raise their matching contraptions, press their lips to the appropriate tubes, and begin to play. The sound is horrific, lacking any melody, rhythm, or harmony whatsoever, though the Dorfs try to compensate with sheer volume. The noise causes a nearby cat to begin shrieking, while just across the lane you see a bird nosedive through the window of a small house. You can just barely hear Tanya whine, "Someone make it stoppppp..."
Then, suddenly, it does stop. With a final shrill blast of sound, one of the bagpipes ruptures, with the other one doing the same about a second later. You hear two "thwunk" noises near them immediately afterward. Lachdanan and MacGruber look at each other in amazement.
"Brother! You did burst your bag."
"Yes, brother, and I think you did burst yours."
"How did it happen?"
"We were playing very hard."
"Yes, we played with very much passion."
"Our Dorf prides and spirits were too much to be holding in bags!"
Both Dorfs grin as widely as they had before, and resume laughing to themselves as they walk away from the stable building and hand the deflated instruments off to Pepe. As they do so, you all notice that another person has quietly slipped in among your group. It's the woman from last night, still wearing her same hooded cloak. She walks close to Rasputin, and says softly, "I'm looking forward to a nice, quiet journey." She has her coinpurse in her hand, and gives it a slight jingle as she calmly passes on to the wagons.

With a prideful tear in her eye, Phaedra clasps the dorf brothers around the shoulders, "Now that is what I like to see! Bards everywhere should take note, you MUST overpower the instrument. I feel that Kord above is truly smiling down on you today. Now, let me tell you two all about the time I mastered a trumpet with so much enthusiasm that it ended up scattered across three count..."

Twisting her finger in her ear, Ruth's eyes gloss over from such a "passionate" duet. After a minute or two of silence, she swivels her head back and forth.

"HUH? DID YOU SAY SOMETHING? WHO SAID SOMETHING?"

Rasputin snags the bagpipes out of Pepe's hands and throws them as far as possible. Into a fire if nearby or perhaps that into that Uppity bard from yesterday (strength check 1d20+5 = 23 )

"So am I Alice."  he then turns the the lady with a hand rapping against his sword's sheath.  "So am I."

Rasputin hurls the bagpipes with astonishing force. They sail through the air for a couple blocks, and can just barely be seen to land on the front step of the building that is the permanent offices of the Pendergast Caravan. Nobody's home there at the moment, but it's just as well. Earlier this month, Strong Map knocked over the magistrate in charge of the town litter ordinances, so it'll be interesting to see how this turns out.

"Hmm... did it seem unusal to anyone else how those awful bagpipes burst? I thought I heard another noise when it happened..."
[Wisdom check: 1d20+5 = 8]
Tanya glances around for a moment, but seems to realize quickly that investigating further might draw enough attention to her for everyone to notice she hasn't helped at all with the carts and cargo. She walks to the rear of the frontmost cart, ready to resume her usual spot nestled between some tall crates, but halts when she hears a loud voice.
"TAAAANYYYAAAA!"
Tanya looks to her side. "U-uncle Jeb, was that you calling for me...?"  Jeb, having just applauded the aim of Rasputin's throw, now cracks an even wider smile as he turns to Tanya. "Sure wasn't. Sounds like our last passengers! Hoo-ee, but ain't you gonna be pleased when you see who's joinin' us!" He slaps a knee jovially.
Tanya turns to the lane from whence the other guests had been approaching. Another loud yell comes.
"TANYAAA! OH TANYA BAY-BEE~!"

What little color Tanya usually has to her complexion now drains completely. "Oh no," she says softly, hands beginning to tremble, "oh no no no no no. It cannot be her, anyone but her..."
Finally, the woman who's been doing all this shouting rounds the corner. There is a glimpse of long brown hair and shimmering black robes, but the woman suddenly bursts into a sprint - headed right for Tanya, arms outstretched.

What do you do??

Rasputin steps forward between tanya and the newcomer and puts out his large shield with one hand and with the other he grasps Pepe by the collar. "Defensive plan 16 Peps." 

Rasputin chucks Pepe at the woman (1d20+5 = 23) 

Pepe hollers "STEP AWAY FROM THE NERD!" He tucks into a tactical roll and braces for impact.

"WHO'S THAT? IS SHE MUGGING US?" Ruth pulls out her wand, her ears still ringing.

The woman is blindingly fast, and upon seeing the halfling get tossed her direction, she attempts an agile dodge. However, Rasputin's throw launches Pepe with such tremendous force that, despite her extreme speed, Pepe collides with her. Both of them are knocked prone, collapsing in a heap together.
Rather than a shout of pain or surprise, the woman lets out an exclamation of delight. "OOH~! I know men throw themselves at me, but this! You really get right to it, don't you honey?" Her speech is accented - not a heavy, near-incomprehensible mode of speech like the Dorfs, but a smooth and decidedly exotic voice. "I meant to embrace little Tanya, but I guess a tumble with you was nice enough~"
She makes no move to extricate herself from Pepe just yet. At this point you're able to get a look at her - quite a look, if you're Pepe. Her tanned face is framed by elegantly curled brown hair, which reaches down to generous hips. Her figure is wrapped in a garment of glossy black silk that could technically be called "robes", though there are several conspicuously placed omissions of material throughout. Upon her nose is perched a tiny, tiny pair of pince-nez; what purpose they serve or how they remain in place, especially through activity like what just transpired, is anyone's guess.
Still on the ground with Pepe, she smiles, looks into his eyes, and says, "so how 'bout it, want to grapple some more little guy?"

What does Pepe do?

Getting to his feet, Pepe dusts himself off. "Sorry about that, lady. We're a little protective of our caster friends." He offers a hand to help the woman up.

Rasputin gestures at the lady past Jeb and Tanya  "Jeb.  Who is that maniac?" Then after a pause he then just gestures at all the passengers "Who are these maniacs?"  He then takes his helmet off and scratches his head for a moment bewildered "Where did you find these people? I cant imagine we're being paid enou-Phaedra! Put the livestock down you cant keep it! We've had this conversation before!"