/me approaches this thread like a warm fire, rubbing his hands together and turning his palms toward the thread
"Been a cold winter for posting this year, eh?" he says, cracking a small smile. "Good to see a post once in a while to warm a body up." Gamma pats his pockets for a moment, then reaches into one and pulls out a can of baked beans. He takes a careful look at the "First post of 2023" thread in front of him, then give the can a hard tap on the corner of the F. He turns the can, now impaled on the letter F, removing the lid. "Lost my can opener in the last spambot raid, so I've got to make do now." Looking around, he pulls a nearby html5 janky-ass div table out from under an old dirt-covered emoticon and fashions it intro a grate, and sets the can of beans on top of it to warm up.
(http://gamma.thedailypos.org/images/beans.png)